Personal Update

Just a personal update today.

I’m in a really great mood lately, ‘cause I finally took some time to travel.

It’s amazing how taking a little time off and going on an adventure can make all the difference in the world to your internal state.

We get bogged down in the mire and forget ourselves. Everything can seem mundane or repetitive and it shows in your attitude when you talk to people. Even if you’ve lived (past tense) a fun, interesting life, you must do these type of things to renew yourself now and then. It keeps your excitement and zest on the upswing and people can tell.

I have one life to live so I’m gonna make the most of it. I’ve decided to take one dream vacation to surf per year, for the rest of my life. Boca del Toro is next.

With a few exceptions, the women on the North Shore for the most part were fairly amazing. They all surf, and they rip too. They’re all super hot, young, and extremely friendly. Such a turn on and start comparison to the women of San Diego.

One more thing which has contributed to me feeling great is I also took a couple hours out of my busy schedule to buy some new shoes and clothes for myself. It’s amazing how great you feel when you think you look good. I caught several girls checking me out in my new duds. Is it the clothes or the attitude? Maybe a bit of both.

Last night I took some buddies out last night to one of my favorite Tuesday night venues. We sat down next to a couple blonde hotties.

You can take any situation or observation and turn it into an opener. I believe I opened them with, “So how were your mini kobe burgers….. the consensus over here is Mmmmmm”. They liked it.

I was just demoing for a friend so he could see how easy it is to talk to girls. Just have a good attitude and be fun. Girls will like you. No need to be mr Gamey over the top pickup entertainer guy or follow some crazy complicated “method” which leaves you so bogged down in details you feel lost.

But no time for girls, I was there to hang with my bros – so I closed her. Did my name quiz on her and then had her save my name in her phone as "Amazing Milkman". They took off for a bit but on her way out she stopped to say goodnight and that it was nice meeting us. Seems solid.

I’ll follow up today once I remember what her name was. Jesus my listening skills are horrible when I’m drinking. I need to work on that. Since I’m half deaf when I drink I go off vibe, facial expressions, kino, etc… 60% of the time it works, EVERY TIME... but remembering details like this helps you a lot.

My main LTR is out of the country right now, and I have a FB coming over tonight.

She has been sending me all sorts of nasty texts and dirty pictures of herself. I play it off like “cool”. Or make a joke out of it. She sent me a pic of her boobs and I sent her back, “I believe Shakespeare is the one who said To Bewbz or not to bewbz, that is the question. And the answer is YES! :p”.

Drives her nuts that I don’t give her much sexual power, so she comes on stronger. Kinda cute to watch. She’s told me her ass needs a good fucking, too. I can’t decide if I want to fuck her tits, have her give me an epic blowjob (she’s literally the best I’ve ever had), or if I should give her what she wants..

Needless to say, don’t wait up for me tonight ;)

Recap:

• Take time off to do things you love.
• Treat yourself now and then.
• Get creative with openers.
• Be fun and have a good attitude.
• Flirt like you're James Bond.
  

-Milkman

Turning a Phone # into a Lay 2.0

I wrote the original article well over a year ago, but lucky you I decided to update it today. Read on...

How many times have you met a cool or sexy girl you were into, tried to follow up with her, and she was non responsive?

Or maybe, she was totally into you after you called her, but was a super flake and you couldn’t get her to go on a date.

What’s a guy to do? Work on your reopening skillset… that’s how.

A solid reopening skillset can give you the opportunity to turn even the softest closes into dates, lays, LTRs, and more.

A shitty reopening skillset can turn hard hooks into flakes.

In the movie Swingers, Trent gave Mike the advice to wait 3 days or even 6 to call a girl so he didn’t scare her off.

The waiting “x” days rule is ok, but if you think of pickup rules in the sense of traditional tools, it’s more of a sledge hammer when you need something more refined.

HOW DO I START?

Good follow up technique starts with the interaction and the close; the more solid the interaction, the less chance of a flake.

I’ll also do a number of things to secure less flakes.

- Especially if a girl is drunk, I’ll “test” her and make her repeat my name several times. My current LTR I quizzed 6 times the night we met at Stingaree. Clubs are loud and overwhelm the senses. Burn it in through repetition so she remembers who you are. Stand out. It’s dumb to lose a girl because the night was a blur.

- Save your name in her phone as something memorable or outlandish. I like to save it as “Amazing Milkman”. This is a cardinal rule yet is skipped by so many. The small Buying Temperature jump she gets from seeing your name pop up on her phone in this manner is just enough to compel her to be more responsive. Get her number, call her, and then compliance test her with “Let me see your phone a sec”. Take the extra minute to save your number in her phone. It’s dumb to lose a girl because only a number shows up and she didn’t know it was the amazing guy she met the night before.

- Give her a nickname. If a girl drips her drink on my shoes I might accuse her of being the girl who got me wet and then call her Aquagirl.

- During the course of your conversation, “Go Fishing” and seed several activities with her but don’t invite her right away as that would appear needy. Just let her know you do fun stuff without sounding braggish. Instead, take note of which ones she seems most interested in. Change the topic. And later return to it and invite her to something. See below generic script:

MM (Seeding fishhooks): Last week was so amazing, I did X, Y, and Z…
HB (She bites): Wow, I LOVE “Z”!
MM (Changing topic): So anyway…
HB (She goes on to new thread but wants to know about the last one): Stuff
MM (Returning to seed): Hey I’m gonna go “Z” next week some time. You should come, it’ll be fun… I’m free a couple days, what looks good for you?

These things all lessen the chance of flakes. Do them all.

OK ENOUGH WITH THE INTERACTION, WHEN DO I REOPEN?

So you have this hottie’s number burning a hole in your cell phone… holy shit, suddenly it's the wrong kind of weenie roast. So when do you reopen her?

In the generic sense I typically wait til around 11am-1pm to contact a girl the day after, depending on when I wanted to get her out.

If a girl is out all night getting drunk, it doesn’t make sense to send her a message much earlier; she’s still in her PJ’s and even if she sees the message, likes it, and remembers who you are, the chance of ADD is high as she may simply go back to sleep. Thus, the 11a-1pm rule is born.

Exceptions to this rule are when you have discussed earlier plans with her or there might be a time limit, such as she is flying home the next day and you need enough time to work your magic.

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE

Before I discuss actual messages to be sent, let’s talk about keeping your eye on the prize. A lot of guys lose sight of why they are part of the community, and thus they fail in their goals. You must always have a goal to succeed at it.

Texting a quality woman you find attractive can be QUITE addictive… but keep your eyes on the goals, son!

The goal is to get her out, and have sex with her.

I always make having sex with women a priority.

Not because I’m some sort of shallow, immature being who needs to use women as an extension of my hand to ejaculate into.

Not because I was bullied in high school and have some pathetic need for validation to get revenge by showing the world how women love me.

Not because great sex can be very passionate and enriching for both parties involved.

I make it a priority because something changes with women when you have sex with them. They accept you. And your relationship with her is more honest than ever. I know that sex is very important to the formation of this bond. She becomes yours, fully.

Plus I like fucking women.

Immediately after sex I’ll know if this girl is a longer term interest or if she’s going to be a fun friend.

Texting fits into this as it is a tool to help get you that date in the first place.

WHAT NOT TO SEND

Here are examples of bad reopeners in no particular order:

Boring: Hey Susan, it’s Bob from Friday night. How are you?

-If she responds to this it will be out of politeness, not interest in fucking you.

Weak: Hi Sarah, it’s Peter. Would you like to go out some time?

-Asking for her permission or direction. Horrible; you’re the man – take the lead.

Mr. Creepy Over Sexual or Fetish Guy: It got hot and heavy the other night… want to finish what we started? I’ve got my unicorn riding crops all warmed up!

-If a girl was drunk and horny in the moment when you met her, but is not the following day you can trigger ASD by sending her overly sexual messages too early in getting to know her. Still, if she is a sexual being and is comfortable with you it could work in your favor. "Newbies" should use caution.

SENDING THE RIGHT REOPENER

The right reopener will:

1. Grab her attention – you want her to take notice.
2. Begin building compliance and buying temperature
3. Finally it compels her to respond to you

The best messages I send out often incorporate callback humor (very important), it may bust on her or get her to qualify herself to you about why she’s good or can still hang out with you, it may challenge her, or might be cocky/funny.

Let’s start with some simple reopeners:

Hi NICKNAME, do u speak text? –Milkman
Hi NICKNAME, are you textually active? ;) –Milkman
NICKNAME, let’s pull an Olivia Newton John and get Textual! Can you speak txt? –Guess who! ;p

It’s dumb.. strike that, it’s MORONIC, to send a girl a great witty text and get “who r u?” in return.

Call her by a nickname, sign your own name, save your name in her phone and that won’t happen. If you’re certain she’ll know who you are, it’s fun to sign "–Guess who! :p"

Then you can tell her she's amazing and should be a member of Mensa for figuring it out. For some reason girls always want to punch me after I tell them that. :p

The great thing about the “Do you speak text” text, is that there’s a built in safety net if she doesn’t answer. Normally texting and then calling a girl would be a little needy, but if she doesn’t answer that yes, she can text, then you may simply call her later as you’ve assumed she couldn’t text.

See, I’m brilliant. And devilishly handsome, too.

Let’s get more advanced. Get creative and challenge her. Get her to qualify herself. Bust on her, but don’t be a dick:

NICKNAME, you left the party so soon… I thought you said you could hang? By the way, do you speak txt? –Milkman

NICKNAME! I’ve never seen a model eat so many nachos. Did they forget to feed you your 3 mandatory pieces of lettuce last night? :p –Milkman

** Story time **

I met a hot, skinny professional woman online. She actually went AFC and emailed me “How are you doing? How is the weather in San Diego?” to which I replied “Oh you did not just ask me about the weather!...” Later, I opened her on text for the first time:

“Hi Weathergirl, it’s looking like your forecast will have a little Milkman in your future! ;)”

This pulls in all of the above principles together. Busting on her, callback humor, giving her a nickname, and more…

Breaking down how texts like these work, you first grab her attention by using her name or nickname. You’ve also saved your name in her phone and signed who you are. She now knows this message is from someone cool she should pay attention to, and you do not get the dreaded “who r u”?

Next you pump attraction or buying temperature with some of the above principles by using callback humor, busting on her, roleplaying, and more.

I prefer statements over questions, but “Do u speak txt” is fairly harmless so I’ll roll with it.

Lastly this all compels her to respond to you.

She responded! Great! You’re on the path to hanging out with her.

ESCALATION

As a man, it’s your primary duty to escalate because women are taught not to by our society’s framing. Some will, but don’t rely on it.

Escalation comes in many forms and steps and can be broken down.

• A phone number is escalated to a txt or call.
• A txt is escalated to a call.
• A call is escalated to a meetup.
• A meetup is escalated to being physical with kino.
• Kino escalates to makeout.
• Makeout escalates to petting.
• Petting escalates to…

…Pardon me while I excuse myself to the restroom for 5 minutes…… fap fap fap.

Break it down and it’s not so scary and the pattern is completely natural.

Become aware of where and when you should escalate is a skill unto itself. But that's a discussion for another time...

*Note some guys get lost in texting girls due to re-occurring bad community advice of “Starting a text war” with her. If you sit there txting her for 2 weeks, you’ve lost sight of the goals. The goal is to use text to get her to hang out with you, not to “text war” her for 2 weeks until she loses interest and friend zones you.

As you’re texting her and running your tight text game, she’s being feisty, playful, throwing you IOIs, and shooting replies off to you quickly. Feels great huh? Awesome, well your job ain’t done yet, bucko.

While all this is going on it’s telling me she’s at the height of her response compliance, so I’ll take this opportunity to CALL HER because she’s most liable to answer!

CALLING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME

Lengthwise, I’ve found 10 minutes is generally more than enough time to talk before setting up a date but if I’m enjoying myself I might go as long as 30 minutes.

I’ll false time constraint myself so I don’t end up on the phone forever; “I have to surf with my friend so I have to go in a bit, but blah blah blah…”

I’ll pump her buying temperature, I’ll do a little getting to know you stuff. I’ll keep it light and fun.

I’ll start sexually framing if I haven’t already, I might make some sex related jokes to see how she responds. If she responds well, the DTF factor will go up. If she doesn't respond well I'll know she's not yet comfortable enough or doesn't "get" my humor.

If you forgot to do it in your initial interaction, I’ll subtly seed fun things I like to do like sushi, surfing, snorkeling, karaoke, biking, hiking, wine tasting, etc.

I won’t invite her to anything but I’ll take note what interests her and change the subject.

I’ll find out logistics. I like to know what part of town she lives in and what her work schedule might be like. From that I can compare to the activities in my head I’m sure she’ll enjoy and I’ll make a decision where I'll take her and when we should meet.

Sooner is always best – “strike while the iron is hot” completely applies when it comes to getting women out. If you don’t, it can peter out, and then you have to adopt a longer term strategy. On an infinite timeline, you can probably have sex with any woman you want. The goal is not to wait so long, however. ;)

“I have to (activity) with my friend, but I’m free after that… I’ve kind of been thinking about this great brunch place. You should totally come, it’ll be fun”

If she’s down with your plan, you need to setup logistics. Generally these are the best options you have, in order of how good they are for you getting laid.

1. Have her drive to your place, and you drive the two of you on your date. That way you end up at your place afterwards and have a window to have sex with her at a location where you are in control of logistics (a roomate isn't gonna bust in, a cat won't start trying to get her attn, she won't see her books and be reminded of that early college course, etc).
2. You pick her up at her place and at the end of the date use the “I need to use your restroom real quick before I go” excuse to get inside and have sex with her. Or if you can tell she’s ready, you just bail back to her place.
3. You meet her at the venue. This is the worst, avoid it if possible. You’ll have ten times the work to seed things to get her to bounce back to your place or hers.

EXAMPLE CONVERSATION

Milkman: You know, you’re feisty and kind of fun. We should get together some time.

Girl: Kind of fun? KIND OF? I’m a LOT of fun! Yeah, we should get together some time.. so you can see how fun I am! (Or, if she’s super into you she’ll suggest logistics right here)

Milkman: How about Tuesday, or do you know if Thursday is better for you?

Girl: I have extreme crocheting class on Tuesdays, so let’s do Thursday. What are we doing? (Note: When girls ask “what are we doing”, they really mean: “What should I wear?”)

Milkman: It’s a surprise so I can’t tell, but I can promise its right up your alley! Just dress in something cutesy-comfy and be over at my place at 7:30. Do you have a pen?

Girl: I’ll get one. What’s the address?

Milkman: (Tell her address and directions). Call me when you leave your place so I know you’re on your way.

Girl: Ok (compliance)

Milkman: Almost forgot… show up with an appetite, I’ll be making a gourmet meal before we go out. By the way, do you like the crusts on or off your Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches?

Girl: Ha ha, you better make me more than peanut butter and jelly, but I’m a “crust on” kind of girl. Blah blah..

Milkman: Oh shit! My buddy is here so I have to scoot… but it was nice talking to you and we’ll see each other Thursday!”

Notice the progression here.

I don't ask "How is Thursday at 5:37pm and 23 seconds for you?" of course you'll get a "NO", and then have to ask again, and again, and again.. wow, soundin pretty needy here buddy. Instead, there's a better way.

Let the logistics come out slowly. Concentrate on the biggest things first, like first that the two of you should hang out. Then I choose a day, followed by a time. As each thing is confirmed I move on.

You should be VERY SPECIFIC when it comes to the when, and where of the date. Have a plan!

By the way, I never call it a date because that sets a frame. I say we should hang out.

AFTER CALL MAINTENENCE

Obviously if you’re meeting her later that day no further contact is necessary.

But if you’re meeting her the day after, you might want to text her some time before the meetup to keep things fresh. "Ready to have some fun dorking out at Karaoke tonight?" goes a long way towards her not assuming it's off since you never contacted her.

If the meetup is several days away, you definitely need to at least text her once. It’s weird to meet someone, setup a hangout, and then all of a sudden they vanish for a week. Instead, shoot a text midway.

Enjoy, my little milk bottles.
-Milkman

Haha, Sinn are you kidding me? :P

Sinn is one of my favorite pickup artists, and probably the one which is closest to my own style. He’s flexible, usually socially aware, and fast to escalate, like me.

But occasionally even a “Guru” can say some really retarded things.

Sinn is really smart but he’s a younger guy and younger guys tend to only view the world from their own eyes… they just don't have the experience to let them see other points of views.

I received an e-mail from him the other day which promises to tell you how to sexualize every conversation with women. It starts out with asking her age, and then doing a cold read, leading to sexual framing telling her that when she’s attracted to someone she goes for what she wants and doesn’t care what other people think.

Normally telling a girl that she goes for what she wants (sexually aggressive) and doesn’t care about what other people think (doesn’t care about being socially judged) are two GREAT things to convey to women. Along with conveying that you don’t judge are some great things to setup casual sex.

Sinn breaks down the cold reads based on age bracket. The others are decent but when he got to the 30+ cougars he said something so horribly terrible I laughed out loud. Days later I still am. Really Sinn??!?!? Come on bro!

He suggests you tell a cougar “she has that youthful look in her eyes”. HAHA. Come on buddy!

Dude are you kidding man? That’s something you say about your about-to-die Old Yeller dog… “He’s got that youthful look in his eyes, aww don’t ‘cha boy!!!” "good boy! here's a tasty treat!"

Or something you say to your GRANDMA… “Grandma you’re so full of spunk, you got that youthful look in your eyes!” *pinch pinch*

You say that to a 30+ woman you’re trying to have sex with and you’re liable to trigger all kinds of insecurity in her and introduce a very large possibility of blowing yourself out.

Basically, this is a big neg. Women’s perceived value will play a large portion in how they respond to negs. If you say this to a very insecure woman who lacks confidence, it could be enough to blow your set.

Calibrate to your target! Negs aren’t really necessary – maybe only if she’s being feisty and it’s deserved for frame control purposes.

I can tell you from personal experience, I dated one of the most beautiful cougars. We had this amazing chemistry; we were like bonnie and clyde. She was tall, very thin, cute, eager to please, and very sexual when she was in bed with me. She set my blood on fire. I really had feelings for this one. She never saw it though cause she's kind of a dope like that.

So anyway, she doesn’t remember this because she was drunk but we were in bed after sex and going out at night and she started to break down and cry.

She let her insecurity be known, that she knew she was getting older. I felt so bad for her. She was such a wonderful, amazing, BEAUTIFUL woman that any red blooded man in the world would want to be with and yet here she was, naked to the world, showing insecurity because worried about her looks and that she wouldn’t be able to keep me…

You know, no matter how beautiful a woman is, she's always concerned for her looks. She knows looks are the #1 priority to guys when it comes to evaluating them.

Ironically it wasn’t her looks that broke us up. It was that she couldn’t be vulnerable with me. And occasionally she did some really thoughtless or rude things. If she could have been vulnerable with me while she wasn't drunk...

And so we stopped seeing each other...

Anyway, I digress. Back to making fun of Sinn’s suggestion!

He also recommends you say “Sorry” and apologize to the woman after she mentions she’s 30+, as if she’s DYING or something.

Lastly he wants you to tell her at 30 years old, that she is "wise". What is she, a fucking kung-fu master? Ohhh wise Cougar Master, teach me the ways of Cougar poon!

Dude were you fucking high when you wrote this shit? I seriously couldn't make stuff up that was this funny.

Let this be a lesson. When you receive these mass email tips from Gurus, use your grey matter and don't just repeat things verbatim.

The sexual framing stuff is GREAT, but if you repeat the things I poked fun at you won't be laying the girl.

Here’s what he recommended…

You know what, I have been meaning to ask you, and I know this is one of those taboos... But how old are you?

(She answers)

It is all starting to make sense now...

And if she is over 30 you say:

Wow, really... I am sorry I totally wouldn't of guessed that. But one of the things with you is that you... and I mean I can tell just from talking to you, that you still have that youth in your eyes.

That but you're also wise, and you really miss that spontaneous get up and go attitude you once had. Like actually more than ever, and it is still there,

(pause as if trying to explain yourself better)

Like when you really are attracted to someone and feel comfortable, you're very direct in showing how you feel.

-Milkman

The Dreaded "Is that a pickup line?"

So the girl you’re talking to asks if your opener or joke was a pickup line, rehearsed, etc…

Getting questions if your opener was canned is a sign of incongruence.

In poker the players have "tells" which let other players know what might really be going on with your hand. The same thing applies socially. Girls are socially savvy. Something sold you out and she was able to read it instantly.

Hesitation and not coming off smooth is one such tell, probably the biggest. Getting rid of it comes with experience and comfort. In other words, you must be comfortable and confident in approaching women you are attracted to. If you aren't comfortable with what you're doing, she'll be able to tell instantly and will surmise you're "up to something".

Work on eliminating “tells” and you won’t get comments like that any more. In the mean time, there are many ways to handle shit tests/comments from her of that nature... see some examples I pulled out of my ass below.

Her: Is that a pickup line?

Agree/Exaggerate: It’s totally a pickup line. I had to meet the girl with the (observation). Too cute. If you keep it up I’m so gonna have to hit on you!

Cocky: Tell me later when I'm ravishing you.

Funny: You can tell me later when I’m ravishing you…. for the best 5 seconds of your life. 6 if you’re lucky…

Frame Control: It's called an ice breaker, silly. But this reminds me of the one time when... *transition*

Talking about Fight Club: No but I heard about that crazy show on VH1, did you watch it?

You can combine any of this for good effect also: It’s called an ice breaker, silly. Wait, did you watch that crazy show on VH1 also?

Get creative man and have fun. Getting called out isn't a big deal unless you make it that way.

-Milkman