The Dreaded "I have a boyfriend"

It’s happened to all of us – you start chatting up a hottie, it’s going well, and out of nowhere you’re informed by her or a friend that she has a boyfriend.

What’s going on here? I have a boyfriend is an autopilot response; it doesn’t actually mean she has a boyfriend. Her friend could also be misreading the situation and doesn’t know she really likes you. Here’s an example of how I handled it in one interaction when I was talking up a hottie and her weirdo friend interrupted to tell me her relationship status:

Obstacle Girl: She has a boyfriend

Me: I have a goldfish

Obstacle Girl: Why are you telling me you have a goldfish?

Me: Why would I care if either of you has a boyfriend? We’re at a bar being social.

Obstacle Girl: Stuff

Me: You’re feisty. Do we need to step outside? Because I’ve been drinking Milk and I can soo take you.

Obstacle Girl (laughing): ***Huge Buying Temp spike, she loves me now***

Of course later her chodey orbiter friend got jealous his girls were so interested in me so he performed a massive cockblock, but this is a great way to handle “I have a boyfriend” comments.

It’s actually really socially weird and assumptive of a girl to tell you her relationship status, so this pins that on her and then makes her forget the situation with humor. The main thing to do is to stand your ground instead of giving up or telling her “He’s a lucky man”.

It works best when you’re going indirect and haven’t yet shown interest other than striking up a conversation.

A good way I’ve handled a friend who has misread the situation is to tell her friend, “your friend and I kinda like each other. Is that okay?” Then it puts it on her for being an antisocial weirdo in front of her friend. Her choices are to back down or to confront her friend. Usually they back down. Girls are all about the fear and weilding of peer pressure and this hits them right in the girl-balls.

-Milkman

The dreaded "Who r u?" while texting...

Holy shit it's been a while since I've made a post. I feel like my game has been jumping to incredible new levels and I haven't been putting it onto the site as a braindump. Haha, well, It's all up there somewhere. On to today's subject....

Recently, someone I know texted a girl they just met “what are you wearing?” at 6am on the weekend.

Her response was “who is this?”

Answering that question is a TRAP.

You can’t tell her “It’s Bob from the Marriott on Friday night!” because she’ll become disinterested and go back to being a phone flake. Face it, if she was interested enough to begin with she would have been sure to save your # in her phone in the first place.

Let’s examine the opener. It was really bad, lol. It’s part creepy (“what are you wearing”), and part value sucking because it opened her with a question and required HER to put the effort in. She doesn’t know who the hell you are so why would she invest and put value into the conversation?

Remember, in the beginning of any interaction you should be prepared to provide MOST the value to get the ball rolling. This is why some people like to stack, so if something isn’t working they can keep plowing (ie, providing value) until they hook.

If I were to open with something like “what are you wearing?” I’d need to provide value to combat the value-sucking factor. Using “What are you wearing? Cause I’m wearing a Sombrero!” would be far better.

Think of it like math; if Value sucking (the question) is a -1 to your value, adding a little joke at the end provides +1 value and they cancel each other out. Actually, if you put enough value in, you can end up with net positive value…

Gaming girls is like playing a game of chess. You have to think 10 steps ahead. If “How do I get her back to my place at the end of the night” is a possible problem you might face in the future, then you solve it in the present by starting the date at your pad. If getting her to drive to your place is a possible problem, you choose a date such that where you live is between her and the destination. That way it only makes sense she drives to your place, you drive the two of you to the date destination, and then you end up at your place at the end of the night. Get it? Think of a problem; come up with solution prevention ahead of time.

So the prevention to the “who is this?” question would have been to have saved your name in her phone as “Amazing John” when you met her in the first place.

Everywhere you are sloppy will eventually bite you on the arse. Remember always, think several steps ahead…

Back to the “who are you?” question. This situation is very salvageable. I normally have 3 responses with the "who are you" hoop.

1. Smartass.

“It's prince charming, like duh! ;p” (add value here)

2. Make her forget her hoop and turn it back on her by busting on her.

“Haha I'm wondering the same... you're saved in my phone as Donna the Dork! Who is this really?”

3. Be fake-mad (way over the top) to boost BT, and hint who you are to drive her curiousity.

“Sniff, I'm totally crushed you don't remember the most amazing night salsa dancing ever!”

“Sorry, I'm gonna have to divorce you now. It's not you, it's me. I want my CD's back, but you can have the dog. He craps everywhere anyway!”

Merry Christmas,
-Milkman

SLUT!

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

And this, gentlemen, is exactly why we have things like ASD, and one of several reasons why it's hard for guys - especially AFCs - to get laid.

Men in society are DIRECTLY responsible for their own sorrows in that regard,because women are deathly afraid of judgment and will modify their behavior to avoid being labeled "SLUT".

Of course Grandma feeding her bad social programming about "the chaste good old days" is no help either. But reinforcing it? Stupid with a capital S. No wonder she didn't give it up to you, dummy.

When you judge a woman you are creating more work for yourself to get those panties off. Avoid judgments!

Sub communicate that you are non judgmental, that you are open, and respect people who go for what they want and don't give a shit what other people think. Another good one is people who live in the moment are cool, it allows her to tap into her impulsive side and just go with the flow. The flow being, having sex and doing things with or for you.

See my last post "Inspired" for a great example of how communicating values ("People who live in the moment are cool") and directly lead to a girl giving me a sloppy blowjob.

-Milkman

Inspired

Kind of busy doing research but wanted to post this really quick before it escaped my mind. This one was inspired by Monkee and Bear. I met a new HB, a professional. Cute, blonde, fun. Here’s a text interaction:

HB: (sends directions to her place)

MM: Got it, thanks. Getting better at tennis… Kinda :D

HB: You can play tennis with me and that will make you feel a lot more skilled

MM: Uh oh, you know what they say about girls tennis skills… (:

HB: What? The worse they are the better they are at other things?

MM: Heard there’s a certain rhythm… like dancing, and it applies elsewhere ;)

HB: I dance really well

MM: I like a girl who can dance and be in the moment.

HB: How is work today?

She gave me her first BJ later that night. After the BJ I said that was really great, and she said “I guess I just need to be more in the moment”

What happened here?

The obvious portion was twisting the joke about being good at dancing=good at sex into being good at tennis=good at sex; a very adoptable joke. She qualified (a sign of attraction) that she can dance.

As a reward for qualifying, I told her what I liked. It wasn’t necessarily HER, but it was what I liked, so I was conveying standards – that I think people who live in the moment are cool - and that I think, or want her to be in the moment. I adopted this from something Monkee told me about how he answers shit tests a year ago.

This standard stuck with her and she backward rationalized it as her excuse to go into new territory (blowjob).

Convey these standards to visit the sexual shangri-la:

* You’re non-judgemental
* You respect people who live in the moment
* You respect people who go for what they want and don’t care what others think

-Milkman

Insta dates

I like the insta date methodology… it's a lot less stress to my schedule. If Iset up dates I gotta set aside my Monday, Tuesday, etc and then my entire freaking week is full and I feel stressed. If I do last minute insta dates I can go with the flow and I'm a lot freer. Just keep in mind sometimes chicks won'tbe available and you'll end up alone that night (which is cool for self time, bro time, sarging, etc).

As an example, If I've got the #s of 20 girls in my phone I'll send out a non needy text like,"Sunday Funday… It's MoMo time! ;)". Maybe half (10) might not respond. Of those that respond, ½ (5) might not respond to my 2nd volley, but ½ (5) will hook and we'll talk. I'll find out logistics and suggest a meetup.. boom instant date that day.

If I get multiple girls who are available that day I decide based on who I want to see more. Maybe I've already fucked one girl so I don't care as much about seeing her. Or maybe she's REALLY FUCKING INCREDIBLE in bed, and YES I want to see her. Or maybe there's some new conquest, or one which I have had horrible timing with that I want to get a shot at. It all depends what you want.

If girls take too long to get back to you and you've already set something up with someone else, what do you think a girl would do to you - because girls do have multiple options? She'd see whomever she wanted to see more. So if you're already set up with girl 1 and like her more than the 2nd girl who replied late, too bad for her – set something up for another time. If however you don't like girl 1 as much as girl 2 who repliedlast minute, I'll sometimes tell them I got called into work and take a raincheck. The excuse has to make sense. Since I DO get called into work usually nobody gets pissed about it.

One last thing, I don't send out blind invitations. I only send the invite whenI know they're hooked and responding so I can get an answer right away.

Lastly, this methodology has some great side benefits like keeping the mystery in when she'll next see you, and avoiding framing as a "dating" relationship.

So you want to bang a virgin...

There was a thread on a board I frequent about taking a woman's virginity. I liked some of the replies but had to add my own two cents, as follows:

There are a couple macro angles being worked in this thread.

1. She says she wants it to be special and you should respect her wishes. It's all about her.
2. Have sex with her anyway and here's how to game/trick her into it. It's all about you.

#1 is Passive, #2 is aggressive. Passive is all about the other person and you mean little in the equation. Examples: Guys who are a doormat and let people walk all over them. Aggressive people are the opposite in that they don't take other person's interests under consideration. Examples: Guys who are aggressive get laid, but things don't last because they push people away from them and can never make a real lasting connection. There is a third option.

Being Assertive means you consider both sides. Examples: When someone does something wrong, you let them know they crossed the line. This sub-communicates you have standards and a backbone – two VERY important attraction switches.

This chick is talking about sex which means she's thinking about it. When she says she wants it to be special you have to read between the lines. She means she doesn't want to be judged. You have to let her know you never judge without coming out and saying "I don't judge". Tell her a creative story. Also tell her how you admire someone who goes for something they want and doesn't care about what other people think. These all tie into things that girls think about when it comes to social programming. Let her know you're a guy who keeps secrets.

This chick is a virgin which means she's relatively inexperienced when it comes to guys. You don't need to run uber game on her because she's not desensitized to guys just yet. You should learn to make her comfortable with you and see you as a sexual teacher.

The best policy is to be assertive and tell her why you like her and you know you could make her first time very special. But tell her at the same time you just got out of a nasty break up and don't know if you're ready for a relationship just yet but you live in the moment. Let the decision be hers. Putting up a disqualification or a barrier like this is often very powerful. Girls who are attracted want to work to overcome barriers. If she's attracted she'll find a way.

Last night I was sick and had a 2nd date set up with this girl. I disqualified myself saying I was sick. I put up a barrier for her where she could not see me. We had not seen each other in a week and she was looking forward to seeing me, so she responded by trying to pass this barrier and said that we would just not be physically intimate. She brought me dinner, came over and we hung out. I was very hands off. But then it became a game. What could we do which didn't involve kissing? She started by rubbing my hands. I responded by kissing her arm or the back of her neck. It escalated and ended up with us in bed and my cock in her mouth. Hey, we never kissed.

What you're really afraid of here is if you tell her the truth, you'll lose the girl. That's not abundance, that's scarcity DEFINED.

By being assertive it takes the responsibility off you and puts it on her. Normally this is the OPPOSITE of what you would want to do, in that you take all responsibility so she doesn't have accountability. But since we are talking about her virginity here – and assuming you have any conscious whatsoever – making her comfortable with you and letting her make the decision would mean you don't have to lie your ass off.

-Milkman

Compliance based escalation

A big problem I’ve noticed is: as guys, we really want that pussy. It makes us pull very hard. In general, pulling is bad when the girl isn’t ready. You sacrifice a long term win for a short term high. Instead of gaming them in a linear fashion of escalation I’ve switched to a more random method, based upon compliance. The more compliant and attentive a girl is, the more time she gets out of me – to a point, of course. When a girls attention and compliance is at a high, I let her pull ME.

I’m also thinking of women in terms of money. I make small investments over time which leads to a big payoff – getting laid (repeatedly) from a chick I really dig. Similarly I don’t put all my eggs in one basket either. One of my goals is a large STABLE I can hang with. I’m using this new method to move forward in increments over time, towards that goal. My ego – the need for a +1 – will not interfere with this goal because my abundance mentality overrides it.