So you want to bang a virgin...

There was a thread on a board I frequent about taking a woman's virginity. I liked some of the replies but had to add my own two cents, as follows:

There are a couple macro angles being worked in this thread.

1. She says she wants it to be special and you should respect her wishes. It's all about her.
2. Have sex with her anyway and here's how to game/trick her into it. It's all about you.

#1 is Passive, #2 is aggressive. Passive is all about the other person and you mean little in the equation. Examples: Guys who are a doormat and let people walk all over them. Aggressive people are the opposite in that they don't take other person's interests under consideration. Examples: Guys who are aggressive get laid, but things don't last because they push people away from them and can never make a real lasting connection. There is a third option.

Being Assertive means you consider both sides. Examples: When someone does something wrong, you let them know they crossed the line. This sub-communicates you have standards and a backbone – two VERY important attraction switches.

This chick is talking about sex which means she's thinking about it. When she says she wants it to be special you have to read between the lines. She means she doesn't want to be judged. You have to let her know you never judge without coming out and saying "I don't judge". Tell her a creative story. Also tell her how you admire someone who goes for something they want and doesn't care about what other people think. These all tie into things that girls think about when it comes to social programming. Let her know you're a guy who keeps secrets.

This chick is a virgin which means she's relatively inexperienced when it comes to guys. You don't need to run uber game on her because she's not desensitized to guys just yet. You should learn to make her comfortable with you and see you as a sexual teacher.

The best policy is to be assertive and tell her why you like her and you know you could make her first time very special. But tell her at the same time you just got out of a nasty break up and don't know if you're ready for a relationship just yet but you live in the moment. Let the decision be hers. Putting up a disqualification or a barrier like this is often very powerful. Girls who are attracted want to work to overcome barriers. If she's attracted she'll find a way.

Last night I was sick and had a 2nd date set up with this girl. I disqualified myself saying I was sick. I put up a barrier for her where she could not see me. We had not seen each other in a week and she was looking forward to seeing me, so she responded by trying to pass this barrier and said that we would just not be physically intimate. She brought me dinner, came over and we hung out. I was very hands off. But then it became a game. What could we do which didn't involve kissing? She started by rubbing my hands. I responded by kissing her arm or the back of her neck. It escalated and ended up with us in bed and my cock in her mouth. Hey, we never kissed.

What you're really afraid of here is if you tell her the truth, you'll lose the girl. That's not abundance, that's scarcity DEFINED.

By being assertive it takes the responsibility off you and puts it on her. Normally this is the OPPOSITE of what you would want to do, in that you take all responsibility so she doesn't have accountability. But since we are talking about her virginity here – and assuming you have any conscious whatsoever – making her comfortable with you and letting her make the decision would mean you don't have to lie your ass off.

-Milkman