The Dreaded "I have a boyfriend"

It’s happened to all of us – you start chatting up a hottie, it’s going well, and out of nowhere you’re informed by her or a friend that she has a boyfriend.

What’s going on here? I have a boyfriend is an autopilot response; it doesn’t actually mean she has a boyfriend. Her friend could also be misreading the situation and doesn’t know she really likes you. Here’s an example of how I handled it in one interaction when I was talking up a hottie and her weirdo friend interrupted to tell me her relationship status:

Obstacle Girl: She has a boyfriend

Me: I have a goldfish

Obstacle Girl: Why are you telling me you have a goldfish?

Me: Why would I care if either of you has a boyfriend? We’re at a bar being social.

Obstacle Girl: Stuff

Me: You’re feisty. Do we need to step outside? Because I’ve been drinking Milk and I can soo take you.

Obstacle Girl (laughing): ***Huge Buying Temp spike, she loves me now***

Of course later her chodey orbiter friend got jealous his girls were so interested in me so he performed a massive cockblock, but this is a great way to handle “I have a boyfriend” comments.

It’s actually really socially weird and assumptive of a girl to tell you her relationship status, so this pins that on her and then makes her forget the situation with humor. The main thing to do is to stand your ground instead of giving up or telling her “He’s a lucky man”.

It works best when you’re going indirect and haven’t yet shown interest other than striking up a conversation.

A good way I’ve handled a friend who has misread the situation is to tell her friend, “your friend and I kinda like each other. Is that okay?” Then it puts it on her for being an antisocial weirdo in front of her friend. Her choices are to back down or to confront her friend. Usually they back down. Girls are all about the fear and weilding of peer pressure and this hits them right in the girl-balls.

-Milkman