The Dreaded "I have a boyfriend"

It’s happened to all of us – you start chatting up a hottie, it’s going well, and out of nowhere you’re informed by her or a friend that she has a boyfriend.

What’s going on here? I have a boyfriend is an autopilot response; it doesn’t actually mean she has a boyfriend. Her friend could also be misreading the situation and doesn’t know she really likes you. Here’s an example of how I handled it in one interaction when I was talking up a hottie and her weirdo friend interrupted to tell me her relationship status:

Obstacle Girl: She has a boyfriend

Me: I have a goldfish

Obstacle Girl: Why are you telling me you have a goldfish?

Me: Why would I care if either of you has a boyfriend? We’re at a bar being social.

Obstacle Girl: Stuff

Me: You’re feisty. Do we need to step outside? Because I’ve been drinking Milk and I can soo take you.

Obstacle Girl (laughing): ***Huge Buying Temp spike, she loves me now***

Of course later her chodey orbiter friend got jealous his girls were so interested in me so he performed a massive cockblock, but this is a great way to handle “I have a boyfriend” comments.

It’s actually really socially weird and assumptive of a girl to tell you her relationship status, so this pins that on her and then makes her forget the situation with humor. The main thing to do is to stand your ground instead of giving up or telling her “He’s a lucky man”.

It works best when you’re going indirect and haven’t yet shown interest other than striking up a conversation.

A good way I’ve handled a friend who has misread the situation is to tell her friend, “your friend and I kinda like each other. Is that okay?” Then it puts it on her for being an antisocial weirdo in front of her friend. Her choices are to back down or to confront her friend. Usually they back down. Girls are all about the fear and weilding of peer pressure and this hits them right in the girl-balls.

-Milkman

The dreaded "Who r u?" while texting...

Holy shit it's been a while since I've made a post. I feel like my game has been jumping to incredible new levels and I haven't been putting it onto the site as a braindump. Haha, well, It's all up there somewhere. On to today's subject....

Recently, someone I know texted a girl they just met “what are you wearing?” at 6am on the weekend.

Her response was “who is this?”

Answering that question is a TRAP.

You can’t tell her “It’s Bob from the Marriott on Friday night!” because she’ll become disinterested and go back to being a phone flake. Face it, if she was interested enough to begin with she would have been sure to save your # in her phone in the first place.

Let’s examine the opener. It was really bad, lol. It’s part creepy (“what are you wearing”), and part value sucking because it opened her with a question and required HER to put the effort in. She doesn’t know who the hell you are so why would she invest and put value into the conversation?

Remember, in the beginning of any interaction you should be prepared to provide MOST the value to get the ball rolling. This is why some people like to stack, so if something isn’t working they can keep plowing (ie, providing value) until they hook.

If I were to open with something like “what are you wearing?” I’d need to provide value to combat the value-sucking factor. Using “What are you wearing? Cause I’m wearing a Sombrero!” would be far better.

Think of it like math; if Value sucking (the question) is a -1 to your value, adding a little joke at the end provides +1 value and they cancel each other out. Actually, if you put enough value in, you can end up with net positive value…

Gaming girls is like playing a game of chess. You have to think 10 steps ahead. If “How do I get her back to my place at the end of the night” is a possible problem you might face in the future, then you solve it in the present by starting the date at your pad. If getting her to drive to your place is a possible problem, you choose a date such that where you live is between her and the destination. That way it only makes sense she drives to your place, you drive the two of you to the date destination, and then you end up at your place at the end of the night. Get it? Think of a problem; come up with solution prevention ahead of time.

So the prevention to the “who is this?” question would have been to have saved your name in her phone as “Amazing John” when you met her in the first place.

Everywhere you are sloppy will eventually bite you on the arse. Remember always, think several steps ahead…

Back to the “who are you?” question. This situation is very salvageable. I normally have 3 responses with the "who are you" hoop.

1. Smartass.

“It's prince charming, like duh! ;p” (add value here)

2. Make her forget her hoop and turn it back on her by busting on her.

“Haha I'm wondering the same... you're saved in my phone as Donna the Dork! Who is this really?”

3. Be fake-mad (way over the top) to boost BT, and hint who you are to drive her curiousity.

“Sniff, I'm totally crushed you don't remember the most amazing night salsa dancing ever!”

“Sorry, I'm gonna have to divorce you now. It's not you, it's me. I want my CD's back, but you can have the dog. He craps everywhere anyway!”

Merry Christmas,
-Milkman