A big problem I’ve noticed is: as guys, we really want that pussy. It makes us pull very hard. In general, pulling is bad when the girl isn’t ready. You sacrifice a long term win for a short term high. Instead of gaming them in a linear fashion of escalation I’ve switched to a more random method, based upon compliance. The more compliant and attentive a girl is, the more time she gets out of me – to a point, of course. When a girls attention and compliance is at a high, I let her pull ME.
I’m also thinking of women in terms of money. I make small investments over time which leads to a big payoff – getting laid (repeatedly) from a chick I really dig. Similarly I don’t put all my eggs in one basket either. One of my goals is a large STABLE I can hang with. I’m using this new method to move forward in increments over time, towards that goal. My ego – the need for a +1 – will not interfere with this goal because my abundance mentality overrides it.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Reader Mailbag 1
Mailbag is where I'll choose a good email and answer reader questions. I like this one because I think we've all been in this situation! Today's comes from Gecko...
“I have been reading your blog for a month now, when I get time at work. I like what I read and I'd like to ask you for some help. You seem like you may be able to help.
I've been pursuing this chick since St Patty's Day. I met her at my local hang out. She is a friend of a friend and she seemed cute. So i bought her a few shots and started a little chit chat. She had plans to go watch some midget wrestling with said friend, so I said good night and we parted ways. I told our friend to put in a good word. He did. Good guy. I saw her again a few weeks later, after a hockey game, at the same watering hole. This time I really buttered her up. I pulled out all of my best material. She was like putty in my hands, dude. Unfortunately, my friend that I went to the game with (not the mutual friend) was a little too trashed. I was running between her and my dummy, cock blocking friend. He eventually won out. I couldn't even get her number because she seemed turned off by my buddy. Turns out, it wasn't a total failure.
The girl, ended up at the spot yet again this past Thursday. This time I was solo. I managed to man up enough to get her number. Sadly, during the week, I have a time limit. I wasn't able to be quite the charming motherfucker I normally am. I got the number anyway. My question to you is, when should I try to call her? You see, I'm a very busy man. Between the daily band practice, working overtime, my dogs and the upcoming Testament concert, next Monday, which I have to reserve my cash for, I'm not so sure I should I should try so set up a date so soon. Please advise.”
Gecko
Gecko,
Thanks for being a reader and for your submission. There's no official waiting period. It's been several days so I would get in contact TODAY to keep the interaction warm. Reopen her via text using callbackhumor. Or if you're certain she saved your # in her phone (you are supposed to make certain this happens when you get her #) and you had a strong interaction to the point you know she'll pick up if available, then call at a time when you think she's most likely to answer; maybe around 7 or 8 depending on her schedule.
The only thing waiting does is try to hide a guys excitement or neediness in a situation. If you've ever seen Good Luck Chuck where he goes psycho needy wearing the penguin outfit, or swingers where mike calledthat girl and left several messages - that's what I'm talking about. As long as you can come from a place of want, instead of need, you will be fine.
Waiting too long can turn interactions cold. I recommend getting in touch asap and if you're busy keep it warm with texts and anoccasional phone call until you can meet up. Exchanging myspace or facebooks is also great for this and let's her get a peek at what you're like.
Lastly don't focus on any one girl too much. You found one girl you like but come from a place of abundance mentality where there is one,there are more just around the corner. Keep meeting women and being successful.
Also, see this link on my blog for some more info...
http://milkmandeliversattraction.blogspot.com/2009/02/how-to-turning-that-number-into-date.html
Good luck let me know how it goes!
-Milkman
“I have been reading your blog for a month now, when I get time at work. I like what I read and I'd like to ask you for some help. You seem like you may be able to help.
I've been pursuing this chick since St Patty's Day. I met her at my local hang out. She is a friend of a friend and she seemed cute. So i bought her a few shots and started a little chit chat. She had plans to go watch some midget wrestling with said friend, so I said good night and we parted ways. I told our friend to put in a good word. He did. Good guy. I saw her again a few weeks later, after a hockey game, at the same watering hole. This time I really buttered her up. I pulled out all of my best material. She was like putty in my hands, dude. Unfortunately, my friend that I went to the game with (not the mutual friend) was a little too trashed. I was running between her and my dummy, cock blocking friend. He eventually won out. I couldn't even get her number because she seemed turned off by my buddy. Turns out, it wasn't a total failure.
The girl, ended up at the spot yet again this past Thursday. This time I was solo. I managed to man up enough to get her number. Sadly, during the week, I have a time limit. I wasn't able to be quite the charming motherfucker I normally am. I got the number anyway. My question to you is, when should I try to call her? You see, I'm a very busy man. Between the daily band practice, working overtime, my dogs and the upcoming Testament concert, next Monday, which I have to reserve my cash for, I'm not so sure I should I should try so set up a date so soon. Please advise.”
Gecko
Gecko,
Thanks for being a reader and for your submission. There's no official waiting period. It's been several days so I would get in contact TODAY to keep the interaction warm. Reopen her via text using callbackhumor. Or if you're certain she saved your # in her phone (you are supposed to make certain this happens when you get her #) and you had a strong interaction to the point you know she'll pick up if available, then call at a time when you think she's most likely to answer; maybe around 7 or 8 depending on her schedule.
The only thing waiting does is try to hide a guys excitement or neediness in a situation. If you've ever seen Good Luck Chuck where he goes psycho needy wearing the penguin outfit, or swingers where mike calledthat girl and left several messages - that's what I'm talking about. As long as you can come from a place of want, instead of need, you will be fine.
Waiting too long can turn interactions cold. I recommend getting in touch asap and if you're busy keep it warm with texts and anoccasional phone call until you can meet up. Exchanging myspace or facebooks is also great for this and let's her get a peek at what you're like.
Lastly don't focus on any one girl too much. You found one girl you like but come from a place of abundance mentality where there is one,there are more just around the corner. Keep meeting women and being successful.
Also, see this link on my blog for some more info...
http://milkmandeliversattraction.blogspot.com/2009/02/how-to-turning-that-number-into-date.html
Good luck let me know how it goes!
-Milkman
Friday, May 1, 2009
Backbone & sexual framing
Continuing saga with the professional woman, she’s actually more than just a professional. (deleted). As you can imagine she’s all kinds of feisty and has an ultra strong frame.
Back story: I made a joke which went over her head. She didn’t get it and asked what I meant. I turned it around into an opportunity to cold read and frame.
MM: Oh my blonde. I made a joke silly
HBPro: Ok...ok! God Im an airhead! And u don’t have to agree!
MM: I don’t HAVE to… but doing so is so much fun ;)
HBPro: Ur terrible!
MM: Don’t blame me just cause I call u out cutie (:
-> Find a reason to call her out, and call out calling her out so you can have the following conversation. It subcoms many things including you understand women, which is an attraction switch
HBPro: Believe or not, I liked to be called on my shit! It shows u can deal w me
MM: I know u do why do u think I do it ;) most men don’t have a backbone these days. Not i
HBPro: I like a backbone! I find it sexy and admirable
MM: I like a girl who’s confident enough to go for what she wants and doesn’t give a shit what other people think
-> I’m sexually framing here. In person I would have done a self point
HBPro: And how do u know that’s what I like?
HBPro: That’s good! I like my men like that! A strong personality is important
MM: Oh I know a lot of things u like ;)
HBPro: like what
MM: u find confidence and take charge attitude attractive, u need a man strong enough to be like that even though you are strong yourself. And u test him with ur strength to see if he can take it
HBPro: I need a shower, want to join? <;)>
HBPro: Ok ur right! Have I told u that before or did u read it! I do get easily timid though
-> She sexually shit tested me and I ignore it. After that we got into deep rapport
Back story: I made a joke which went over her head. She didn’t get it and asked what I meant. I turned it around into an opportunity to cold read and frame.
MM: Oh my blonde. I made a joke silly
HBPro: Ok...ok! God Im an airhead! And u don’t have to agree!
MM: I don’t HAVE to… but doing so is so much fun ;)
HBPro: Ur terrible!
MM: Don’t blame me just cause I call u out cutie (:
-> Find a reason to call her out, and call out calling her out so you can have the following conversation. It subcoms many things including you understand women, which is an attraction switch
HBPro: Believe or not, I liked to be called on my shit! It shows u can deal w me
MM: I know u do why do u think I do it ;) most men don’t have a backbone these days. Not i
HBPro: I like a backbone! I find it sexy and admirable
MM: I like a girl who’s confident enough to go for what she wants and doesn’t give a shit what other people think
-> I’m sexually framing here. In person I would have done a self point
HBPro: And how do u know that’s what I like?
HBPro: That’s good! I like my men like that! A strong personality is important
MM: Oh I know a lot of things u like ;)
HBPro: like what
MM: u find confidence and take charge attitude attractive, u need a man strong enough to be like that even though you are strong yourself. And u test him with ur strength to see if he can take it
HBPro: I need a shower, want to join? <;)>
HBPro: Ok ur right! Have I told u that before or did u read it! I do get easily timid though
-> She sexually shit tested me and I ignore it. After that we got into deep rapport
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Dance Floor is a Trap?
How wrong the guy who said "the dance floor is a trap" was. Like anything, it's just another facet of game which can be used to your advantage. It provides an easy non verbal way to meet girls, initiate kino, and ramp attraction up quickly. The trick is transitioning away and glueing her to you so the interaction sticks…
I'm at Typhoon last night with a bunch of friends. I have a date with me also so I'm basically in "hook up my friends" mode. We bump into more people we know. We're chilling at first by some tables in a high traffic area pulling people in. A friend fearlessly goes in on 3 seated cute girls and locks himself in right away. I'm amusing myself opening girls by poking them in the belly and telling them they're committing a party foul by having no drink, or dancing. I've also given the cheers opener to the 2 new guys so they can work on being social.
Eventually we make our way to the dance floor. We're overlooking it and I'm getting eyes from this super hot asian girl. She AI's us and stands next to me grinding her friend. Forget what I opened her with but she's laughing, smiling, and then proceeds to tit punch me with a spearhand poke to the belly! I'm like WTF LOL, did you just tit punch me? Your tits are next! "Nooooo!". She's giggling. I try bringing my buddy in because he's so into Asians and this one is fucking cute. He doesn't step up so it's over. After I'm telling him we want to occupy the raised part of the stage when we dance because we'll get noticed. Attention whoring girls leave and we grab the opportunity to hop up.
I'm not an especially good dancer, but I know a move or two, I'm confident, and know how to have fun amusing myself. That, combined with the stage and powers of observation is all you need. We're up there shaking our shit and I'm watching for the signs. The investment pays off and the eyefuckings begin. These 21 year old girls are looking up at us having a great time strutting around and want to be a part of it. It's like a hybrid of social proof with jealousy plot, sans woman. We begin to get AI'd.
Girl #2 rolls by and I noticed she'd been eyefucking in Genome's and my direction. I poked him in the ribs or something to let him know what's up and gave the girl a smile. We both helped her up on stage and I told her "Have you met my best friend Genome? He's awesome!". She begins shit testing him immediately while they're dancing. He turns around to me and says she's accusing him of this or that. I think I said "you like guys with personality right? Well Genome has a BIG PERSONALITY!" They walk off hand in hand later… logistics were bad for him but he got her info.
Girl #3 rolls by. She's checking me out. She looks. She looks away. My date is 3 feet away. She looks. She looks away. Stop being so shy college girl. I smile and hold my hand out. She hops on stage and suddenly my cock is rubbing against her pussy as she grinds me. I go in close and breathe heavy on her neck. She does the same. My date is watching this go down, smiling and talking to one of our guys. She wasn't jealous. Awesome. Now I can turn it up. I turn her around so she's sandwiched between my buddy and I. She starts rubbing her ass on my now hard cock.
I stab her in the ass with it. Oh my.
My buddy finally begins to get it and take control. Shes into it with him. Then out of nowhere some guy approaches the stage and she pulls him up. My friend gives up the fight before it began and now he's outside the bubble. My friend is awesome but he lacks presence and confidence in himself. Incredibly surprising to me given everything he has going for him but we all have our inner demons.
His roommate later starts double teaming same girl with random guy, turns her towards him and starts making out with her in front of whoever that guy was. I'm waiting for the drama. It never comes. He was only an orbiter, and her ride. My friend's roomie then walks off with her (SMART) and later has his hands up her shirt. Dude is standing next to me in disbelief for 5 minutes. Welcome to the friend zone...
Girl #4 begins eyefucking me. I count at least 8 glances from her toward me. I stare her down and smile. She smiles back. She doesn't approach the stage yet but I have to piss bad so I hop down.
Security corners me with some bogus claim of inappropriate behavior.
They're chill but they toss me outside and aren't reasonable. Someone's butthurt. Wonder if we were with one of their girls or something. Fuckers.
Whatever. I hooked up a couple of my guys and had fun.
I'm at Typhoon last night with a bunch of friends. I have a date with me also so I'm basically in "hook up my friends" mode. We bump into more people we know. We're chilling at first by some tables in a high traffic area pulling people in. A friend fearlessly goes in on 3 seated cute girls and locks himself in right away. I'm amusing myself opening girls by poking them in the belly and telling them they're committing a party foul by having no drink, or dancing. I've also given the cheers opener to the 2 new guys so they can work on being social.
Eventually we make our way to the dance floor. We're overlooking it and I'm getting eyes from this super hot asian girl. She AI's us and stands next to me grinding her friend. Forget what I opened her with but she's laughing, smiling, and then proceeds to tit punch me with a spearhand poke to the belly! I'm like WTF LOL, did you just tit punch me? Your tits are next! "Nooooo!". She's giggling. I try bringing my buddy in because he's so into Asians and this one is fucking cute. He doesn't step up so it's over. After I'm telling him we want to occupy the raised part of the stage when we dance because we'll get noticed. Attention whoring girls leave and we grab the opportunity to hop up.
I'm not an especially good dancer, but I know a move or two, I'm confident, and know how to have fun amusing myself. That, combined with the stage and powers of observation is all you need. We're up there shaking our shit and I'm watching for the signs. The investment pays off and the eyefuckings begin. These 21 year old girls are looking up at us having a great time strutting around and want to be a part of it. It's like a hybrid of social proof with jealousy plot, sans woman. We begin to get AI'd.
Girl #2 rolls by and I noticed she'd been eyefucking in Genome's and my direction. I poked him in the ribs or something to let him know what's up and gave the girl a smile. We both helped her up on stage and I told her "Have you met my best friend Genome? He's awesome!". She begins shit testing him immediately while they're dancing. He turns around to me and says she's accusing him of this or that. I think I said "you like guys with personality right? Well Genome has a BIG PERSONALITY!" They walk off hand in hand later… logistics were bad for him but he got her info.
Girl #3 rolls by. She's checking me out. She looks. She looks away. My date is 3 feet away. She looks. She looks away. Stop being so shy college girl. I smile and hold my hand out. She hops on stage and suddenly my cock is rubbing against her pussy as she grinds me. I go in close and breathe heavy on her neck. She does the same. My date is watching this go down, smiling and talking to one of our guys. She wasn't jealous. Awesome. Now I can turn it up. I turn her around so she's sandwiched between my buddy and I. She starts rubbing her ass on my now hard cock.
I stab her in the ass with it. Oh my.
My buddy finally begins to get it and take control. Shes into it with him. Then out of nowhere some guy approaches the stage and she pulls him up. My friend gives up the fight before it began and now he's outside the bubble. My friend is awesome but he lacks presence and confidence in himself. Incredibly surprising to me given everything he has going for him but we all have our inner demons.
His roommate later starts double teaming same girl with random guy, turns her towards him and starts making out with her in front of whoever that guy was. I'm waiting for the drama. It never comes. He was only an orbiter, and her ride. My friend's roomie then walks off with her (SMART) and later has his hands up her shirt. Dude is standing next to me in disbelief for 5 minutes. Welcome to the friend zone...
Girl #4 begins eyefucking me. I count at least 8 glances from her toward me. I stare her down and smile. She smiles back. She doesn't approach the stage yet but I have to piss bad so I hop down.
Security corners me with some bogus claim of inappropriate behavior.
They're chill but they toss me outside and aren't reasonable. Someone's butthurt. Wonder if we were with one of their girls or something. Fuckers.
Whatever. I hooked up a couple of my guys and had fun.
Friday, April 24, 2009
I'm a mad genius
God I’m a genius, in my boredom I came up with the best generic warm text opener ever.
Good morning and welcome to txt by numbers! Press 1 to wish me good morning, 2 say you missed me, or 3 to check out my ass!
100% response rate, I’m getting lots of 2’s but mostly 3’s all within minutes.
It’s playful, but it works because it plays into plausible deniability and baits them to respond in a manner which frames I’m the prize and she’s missed me or finds me attractive.
Good morning and welcome to txt by numbers! Press 1 to wish me good morning, 2 say you missed me, or 3 to check out my ass!
100% response rate, I’m getting lots of 2’s but mostly 3’s all within minutes.
It’s playful, but it works because it plays into plausible deniability and baits them to respond in a manner which frames I’m the prize and she’s missed me or finds me attractive.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
How I got a flake to buy me lunch
Txt game can be really deep. Here's how I turned a flake into buying me lunchwith a little bit of finesse. Mostly I just held my value, had standards, minifreezeouts, did a little invalidation/DQ. That's all it takes… validation is oneof the PRIMARY motivators for womens' behaviors.
Background: We had set up a lunch date since she works in the area but lives toofar for my tastes. Obviously I know no escalation will happen at lunch but Iknew it'd be an easy way to ramp up comfort so I could throw the hoop out therefor her to roll down to my place in the evening some time. She showed high interest but flaked on me 3 times. Once or twice I can understand but the 3rdtime I lost interest. I'm a busy man and my time is valuable. The last thing Ireceived from her was:
HBFlake: "Hey something came up I can't make today, I'll call you"
She never called, so I lost her number. Two weeks passed…
I received a text from an unknown # telling me she was "sick". I knew it was her from clues in the msg. It seems innocuous and a"Get better soon" might have seemed the socially appropriate reply, but I saw it for what it was: Validation seeking on her part. She knew she fucked up and wanted to know if I would still put in an effort or respond to her. No, I won't. Not replying as a PUSH was the correct decision. Another week passed and I received this text from an unknown number:
HBunknown: "Hi How are you?"
I decided to go for another big PUSH. This person wasn't in contact enough to besaved in my phone. I figured they would get pissed at the question and eithernot txt back or it would hook.
MM: "Who is this?"
HBFlake: "HBFlake"
MM: "It's so awesome outside, I just got back from surfing Del Mar"
I intentionally left this out there with no rapport building, not asking her how she's been or anything. She could have stopped replying because I gave her nothing to work with. All part of the plan so she starts trying to win me over.
HBFlake: "Awesome I am out swimming and sunning myself in Oceanside, dogsitting"
She continued the conversation – rapport seeking on a woman is one of thelargest IOIs.
MM: "Sounds fun, but Oceanside? You're so far, you'll have to find yourself downhere more often"
Kind of a half disqualification of her on my part. I really don't have time toput up with LD chicks, especially if they are gonna flake.
HBFlake: "Yeah I know…. So lunch next week?"
MM: "Well we've tried 3 times, I think you owe me lunch now mrs cornflake (:"
First of all, it's important not to sound like you're butthurt over anything she's done because reactivity conveys neediness. At the same time you need to convey you are a man of STANDARDS and draw boundaries for her. Girls like a guy with a backbone. Balancing between the two can be really tricky as I found outlast night.
So I threw this out there, along with a hoop. I'm not going to be easy for her at this point after all these flakes. She's gonna have to earn me back. I'm pushing her pretty hard here, and it's completely intentional. The solution forher flaking is for her to chase and then earn me.
HBFlake: "Sure my treat, how about (venue) on (weekday).. though I'm more of aCheerio"
Some more junk after that but basically I turned this flake into chasing me andwanting to buy me lunch. The professional girl from a few wks back flaked on ourfollowup afternoon date and feels bad so she's buying me a sushi dinner.
To quote a song in my favorite movie: "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta". Now, where's that Fax Machine? PC Load Letter... what the fuck is that?!
-MM
Background: We had set up a lunch date since she works in the area but lives toofar for my tastes. Obviously I know no escalation will happen at lunch but Iknew it'd be an easy way to ramp up comfort so I could throw the hoop out therefor her to roll down to my place in the evening some time. She showed high interest but flaked on me 3 times. Once or twice I can understand but the 3rdtime I lost interest. I'm a busy man and my time is valuable. The last thing Ireceived from her was:
HBFlake: "Hey something came up I can't make today, I'll call you"
She never called, so I lost her number. Two weeks passed…
I received a text from an unknown # telling me she was "sick". I knew it was her from clues in the msg. It seems innocuous and a"Get better soon" might have seemed the socially appropriate reply, but I saw it for what it was: Validation seeking on her part. She knew she fucked up and wanted to know if I would still put in an effort or respond to her. No, I won't. Not replying as a PUSH was the correct decision. Another week passed and I received this text from an unknown number:
HBunknown: "Hi How are you?"
I decided to go for another big PUSH. This person wasn't in contact enough to besaved in my phone. I figured they would get pissed at the question and eithernot txt back or it would hook.
MM: "Who is this?"
HBFlake: "HBFlake"
MM: "It's so awesome outside, I just got back from surfing Del Mar"
I intentionally left this out there with no rapport building, not asking her how she's been or anything. She could have stopped replying because I gave her nothing to work with. All part of the plan so she starts trying to win me over.
HBFlake: "Awesome I am out swimming and sunning myself in Oceanside, dogsitting"
She continued the conversation – rapport seeking on a woman is one of thelargest IOIs.
MM: "Sounds fun, but Oceanside? You're so far, you'll have to find yourself downhere more often"
Kind of a half disqualification of her on my part. I really don't have time toput up with LD chicks, especially if they are gonna flake.
HBFlake: "Yeah I know…. So lunch next week?"
MM: "Well we've tried 3 times, I think you owe me lunch now mrs cornflake (:"
First of all, it's important not to sound like you're butthurt over anything she's done because reactivity conveys neediness. At the same time you need to convey you are a man of STANDARDS and draw boundaries for her. Girls like a guy with a backbone. Balancing between the two can be really tricky as I found outlast night.
So I threw this out there, along with a hoop. I'm not going to be easy for her at this point after all these flakes. She's gonna have to earn me back. I'm pushing her pretty hard here, and it's completely intentional. The solution forher flaking is for her to chase and then earn me.
HBFlake: "Sure my treat, how about (venue) on (weekday).. though I'm more of aCheerio"
Some more junk after that but basically I turned this flake into chasing me andwanting to buy me lunch. The professional girl from a few wks back flaked on ourfollowup afternoon date and feels bad so she's buying me a sushi dinner.
To quote a song in my favorite movie: "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta". Now, where's that Fax Machine? PC Load Letter... what the fuck is that?!
-MM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)