Project Mission Beach

Criteria:

Walking distance to decent surf break
Walking (stumbling) distance to target rich area to build a large social circle and for pulling.

Mission beach fits the bill with SMJ as a surf location, plus tons of tourists and people on the boardwalk.

Cons: Crime, traffic, annoying college kids.

Solana Beach or cardiff might also be cool - way cooler, for surf locations - but way worse as far as targets.

Downtown might be way cool for targets and pulling, but no access to anything but shitty surf breaks after a 20 minute ride.

I plan on getting a townhome in the future to make this a reality.

Tip of the day: Party on a Shoestring Budget

Let’s face it, as long as I have known them most PUA are a bunch of cheap ass motherfuckers – myself included! But not to fret, with the economy the way it is, frugal is the new chic. Forged from a layoff, honed from dating multiple women, and perfected through a recession I bring you Milkman’s tips to livin’ large on a shoestring budget. Here’s how to party and get punani, for less!

Frequent dives and places with good priced happy hours. You can’t go wrong with a $3 beer, or $4 you call it! Take advantage of hosted bars.

Drink before you go out. Bring a container and chug it in the car to get your vibe going.

BYOB. The best investment I ever made was to buy a couple bottles of that 5 hour energy shit, and then fill it with vodka purchased from Costco. I save $30+ nightly doing this. Then I’ll buy a diet coke or sugarfree redbull, mix in my own alcohol, and be set for the night! If I run out, light domestic beers are usually cheap. My friends are constantly amazed how I can party in the gaslamp and spend $10 or 20 a night and have an AWESOME time.

Don’t pay for parking lots! Learn the lay of the land and where you can park for cheap. Generally yellow, green, and meters go free after 6pm. You might have to walk a couple extra blocks, but the exercise will do you good. Plus it’ll give you time to sober up.

Make friends with bouncers and promoters! They’ll help you get in places, for less. Get informed to what’s going on!

If you take a date out, make her quality drinks at your place. That way she rolls out buzzed and it saves you cash at the venue.

$ave by using different grades of vodka or alcohol for each application. If I’m mixing with Redbull or Diet Coke, that cheapo Ralphs shit hits the ticket. If I’m mixing something nicer like a Cosmo or Godiva martini I might use a house vodka like Skyy. If it’s a really special girl or drink I might bust out the Gray Goose or Roberto Cavalli.

Shop for your liquor at Costco or any other bulk discounter. It’s worth it.

When traveling, stay in the same room with multiple people. Also, evaluate travel time and cost between discount airfare and driving. I was able to spend 3 days in Vegas for New Years 09 and only spend $180 including everything! Travel, lodging, food, cover, more drinks than I could handle – all included for 60 bones a day.

Stop drinking during weeknights. It’s calories and slows your metabolism anyway, save it for the weekend.

Selectively choose your bottle service venue. Some places can run $500+ per bottle. Fuck them! There are other fun places around SD to get a bottle for $175. It sounds like a lot, but if you are gonna blow $40+ a night anyway a bottle split 5 way with friends makes a LOT of sense. Plus you get the bonuses of a table, social proof, mixers, etc. Confidential and Aero Lounge both offer bottles of Skyy for around $175. Go on a weekend night for maximum traffic. When the bottle runs dry fill it with seltzer water or tonic to keep the table so you don't need to buy another bottle, LOL. And if chicks want drinks, give them mixer and splash a lil vodka on top.

-MM

Making your move

I had a pretty good weekend, I was out with mLTRs but the 3rd one flaked on Sunday for legit reasons. It kinda made me rethink things with her, she’s not that great a fit for me. I like her and she’s very sexy, but I may not be calling her back.

Anyway the highlight of my weekend was passing my Orange belt test. It was really satisfying to have put in so much work and then finally earn it. I’m really digging Karate, and it’s interesting how some of it’s principles apply to pickup.

So at my low belt level, one of the principles being taught is follow up. You don’t just block and punch/kick one time. You see your opening, and you GO FOR IT. In pickup, this’d be analogous to being able to pull the trigger with a girl. I know a number of guys who really have problems with this issue. Sometimes the issue is sexual anxiety. Other times it’s due to social programming. If this describes you, just learn to recognize certain openings and escalate with your woman.
-MM

Mixed Sets and What to do if your girlfriend gets hit on

Two sides of the coin...

So you’re out and talking to a woman who seems to be into you, but suddenly an aggro guy tells you “I’m her boyfriend”. Yet the girl keeps talking… What do you do? There are many reasons why a woman might entertain you in the presence of her boyfriend and they don’t all necessarily mean she’s into you…

• She wants to make him Jealous
• She’s not “trained”
• She’s drunk and unaware of her actions
• She’s looking to trade up
• She’s bored

Etc.

Keep in mind "I'm her boyfriend" is guy-code for "I know what you're doing, get lost". In those situations I tend to disqualify myself by saying I have a girlfriend, and then running a little rapport with the both of them. Presto, insta wings and future hangout partners. Or you could keep going, and possibly get in a retarded fight when there are tons of other girls nearby who aren't taken.

I wouldn’t be afraid to approach mixed sets, but at the same time there’s a fine line between finding out logistics of “how everyone knows each other”, and intentionally trying to poach a dude’s girl in front of him. If you pursue the latter course of action, anything which happens is on your head.

My girl is being hit on - Help!

I go out with my girls often. Some are trained better than others, but here’s some of the things I’ve done when my girl is being hit on.

• AMOG
• Perform human sacrifice (Introduce someone to the annoying guy and move girl)
• Not acknowledge guy and move the girl
• Interrupt strongly to take over the conversation and tell the guy “Hey nice meeting you, we have to go now”
• Interrupt strongly and speak only to the girl “Hey, it’s your turn..” or “I just saw the most AMAZING thing I have to show you! Let’s go”, then move her.
• If the guy isn’t that great, ditch her so she gets bored of him and comes looking for you.
• Start talking to girls who are attracted to me in front of my girl.
• Have a wing come in and talk to the guy, move the girl.

Etc.

I’ve only needed to AMOG once in 2 years, so there are plenty of other things you can do without resorting to something which may possibly get ugly.

-MM

Personal Development: Nutrition

Ok guys, part of getting better with women overall means pushing to better yourself and developing new goals. Some of those goals for me have been: better nutrition, better fitness, and continuing to learn to cook healthy meals.

With that in mind here are some things I’ve done lately which are leading to success in some of these areas for me. Since beginning I feel like I have more energy, and my body is expelling less waste. In other words, it's using more of what I give it because it's better for me:

• I’m eating 4-5 smaller meals every day to keep my metabolism going.
• I am a calorie NAZI; I watch everything I eat and read labels religiously.
• I’ve cut down on cheeses, bad fats, sugars, and processed foods such as white bread, cookies, or other shitty snack foods. Instead I eat things like Bananas or 80 calorie yogurt.
• I cut down on alcohol to weekends only. Alcohol is a double whammy because it both slows your metabolism plus even a shot (1oz) of Grey Goose has 69 calories.
• I eat whole wheat or brown rice products, high in fiber, protein, low in fats/sugars.
• I cook my own meals so I have more control over what goes in my body.
• If by some retarded act I’m a lazy ass and don’t make my lunch, I search online for healthier, lower calorie fast food alternatives.
• I’m reading Eat THIS, not THAT!
• Cut down on "late night snacks" (unfortunately I still get the munchies after partying on Fridays and Saturdays)

Fast Food Possibilities.
Face it, fast food sucks, but some of it is somehow less bad for you than others. If you fuck up and forget to make lunch you can find fast food alternatives which are semi acceptable.Here’s some of the fast food things I've found in my area…

Carl’s Jr. Grilled BBQ Chicken Sandwich – 360 calories!
Carl’s Jr. Side salad with the low fat basalmic dressing – (125 calories)
Subway chicken breast sandwich on whole wheat, with tons of veggies, mustard, pepper, but NO MAYO OR CHEESE – 600 calories for a footlong (that’s two 300 calorie meals for 5 bucks).
Greek Salad with chicken breast from a local restaurant – few hundred calories.
Togo’s turkey and avocado – 700 calories, but it’s 2 meals.
Jack in the Box chicken fajita pita – 300 calories.

As you can see your biggest enemies are the breads, sauces, and cheeses. Watch what you eat in these areas and you can really cut down.

Here are a couple super easy meals you can make yourself at home which are super low calorie, and nutritious.

Chicken Pitas (inspired by Jack in the Crack)

• Sarah Lee whole wheat pitas, 80 cal for 2 (or something better if you find it)
• Favorite cheese shreddings
• Defrosted/Thawed chicken breast
• Red Onion strips
• Greens: Lettuce, cilantro, tomato
• Spices: Black pepper, garlic salt
• Pace medium salsa (I freaking LOVE salsa, its so low cal and full of flavor)

Directions:
Heat a small pan with virgin olive oil on medium. While it’s warming, chop the raw chicken up and toss it plus the red onion strips into the pan. Season appropriately with spices. While it’s cooking, wash and chop up your lettuce, tomato, and cilantro. Cilantro is strong so don’t use much. When everything is chopped and the chicken is done, throw it and the greens plus salsa into a whole wheat pita and top with salsa. Go EASY on the cheese, or don’t use it at all. Fucking delicious, easy, and only a couple hundred calories.

Veggie n Chicken stir fry (“Damn Mongoreans, you break down my Shitty wall!” – South Park)

• Defrosted/Thawed chicken breast
• Olive oil (virgin)
• Spices: Black pepper, Garlic Salt
• Chinese Chili Sauce (HOT)
• Soy or your favorite teriyaki (I like honey teriyaki, but look at the labels and caloric intake)
• Veggies (your choice): Water chestnut, bean sprouts, carrot dollars, asparagus, cabbage, broccoli, yellow squash, red onion, anything you might like.
  

Directions:
Heat the pan at medium with just enough oil inside to coat the bottom lightly. While it’s heating, cut your veggies to bite size. The chicken will take longer to cook so chop up the raw chicken and throw it into the pan and start cooking. Throw some spices on the chicken and keep stirring. When the chicken is ¾ done, throw in the veggies. Now spice everything up and coat with one or two teaspoons of the Chinese chili sauce, depending how spicy you like it. Throw in your favorite Soy or Teriyaki sauce. Now stir everything around well so the spices and sauce are evenly mixed! Cook until it’s done. Yummtastic, and again it’s protein and veggies so it’s good for ya!

Whole Wheat Spaghetti and Chicken Breast

• Frozen chicken breast (ralphs has an inexpensive variety which comes in a re sealable freezer bag)
• Spices: Garlic Salt, pepper
• Whole Wheat or Brown Rice pasta
• Prego or your favorite spaghetti sauce (watch calories) I got a hruge jug from Costco
• Parmesean cheese
  

Directions:
Bake the chicken breast in the oven per directions. Around half way through, pepper and lightly garlic salt the top, and then flip it over and do same to bottom. While it finishes cooking, start your spaghetti. The meat and spaghetti should be done around the same time. Drain, mix in your favorite sauce, and top with chopped baked chicken breast for protein. Lightly sprinkle parmesean cheese. Enjoy.

-MM.

Back to Basics; LMR and being the Prize

So I was hot and heavy with this new cutie, and then something happened which hasn't in a very long time! Although her beautiful boobies were deliciously molesting my very helpless lips, she wouldn't let me remove her pants or finger her. In retrospect it was totally my fault. To be honest my escalations are so smooth I never get ASD or LMR any more so I left out some very simple things!

The next morning it had gotten worse!

She'd sent me a long e-mail, telling me things like she wanted to “wait until she knew it was special”, she “didn’t like dirty talk”, and “what do I think?” As I read that email, only one word came to mind: TRAP.

I could neither ignore or answer that email candidly; both would cause problems. Instead, I replied something to the effect of “Bummer! I knew I should have thrown more midgets into the fantasy! About the rest, all my best relationships have started off most passionately. The rest, well, maybe I’ll tell you about some time”. And then I CHANGED THE SUBJECT!

What I told her was actually true; every time a chick has tried to put the breaks on us getting to know each other, it's totally wrecked things. It's always best when things just flow. She's a little sexually inexperienced so I was determined not to let her fears and social programming wreck things. As the guy you gotta step up and lead.

The next time she was over I set a script flipping trap for her. I baited by getting her worked up and horny. Her breathing became heavy as she was grinding into me, then I sprung it by giving her LMR. “Babe…” “Yes?” “No sex tonight... but I will make you feel good”. “Ok”. Later, we were both tired and fell asleep.

In the morning, the barriers were completely gone. Her jammies came off and as I was going down on her, she said “what about you?” I interpreted this as "time to get a condom". Then, as the song goes... I took her to funky town.

After we were through, we were having a discussion about how vigorous sex can burn up to 400 calories an hour. She knows I’m trying to get in better shape and mentioned we’ll have to have more fun to burn more calories. Now she’s the one chasing me because I'm the prize.

My sinsei said something which applies here. He reminded me once that these traditions were handed down through hundreds of generations and it's up to me to remember and pass them on. I apply this to my skills with women in that sometimes our sticking points are not because we lack the knowledge to go forward, but because we have forgotten where we have been.

-MM.

Relationship Management 1: Chase Mode

Score! You James Bond motherfucker, you just made out with or even got laid from a total hottie! But how into you is she? How long might this last? What can you expect next? She kissed you so she’s gotta dig you, right? There’s a magnitude of difference in the amount a girl likes you between one you have to lead and “take” a kiss from, and one who craves you and longs to be part of your reality. Do you want to be the guy who has to chase the girl and work her up to sex every time, or the guy who the girl goes after without any prompting from you because you’re the prize and you inspire desire in her?

Both guys are getting laid… but why should you care? You shot your wad, isn’t that what counts? I’d answer that depends on where you set your sights, and what your goals are. If you’re okay with flying coach, cool have fun. But if you want a better experience where the girl treats you like a king, you may want to listen up. Think about it… if you only knew what to look for to tell how into you a woman was, you’d have a general idea how “healthy’ the relationship was. A spider sense! And when something changes for the worse, you can change and put things back in the right motion. Being the guy – the LEADER - means being informed, and knowing what to do. This is part of relationship management…

We all know the signs of a girl that isn’t that into you. Maybe she doesn’t respond to your calls or texts that well (or at all). Perhaps you have to grab for her hand, or be the one to go for the hug every time you’re out. You might even have to always kiss her, or do tons of work to “get her in the mood”. She’s accepting your lead (for now!) but you get this strange feeling she doesn’t seem that into you.

So how do you tell when a girl is truly into you? When I meet a girl the first time I might look for IOIs to provide feedback and tell me how I’m doing. With this knowledge I escalate properly. But what about after you’ve already met her, and the decision has been made she wants to get to know you? After the initial meet, I look for Chase Mode Indicators (CMIs). CMIs take into account such factors as attraction, comfort, familiarity, happiness, state, neediness, being the prize, and validation. Avoid mistaking CMIs for neediness; they’re not the same. One girl wants you, the other girl needs you. Generally multiple types of CMIs will be displayed during the duration for which she’s most strongly into you. Some are her way of saying “I miss you, and I’m thinking of you”. Other, in person ones are her unconscious way of stating she wants more of you. Here’s a few I’ve experienced:

• When side by side, you accidentally brush and she grabs your hand.
• She cleans or does the dishes at your place without being prompted.
• She’s the first to text you on any given day because she wants to see how you’re doing.
• She sends you more texts than you send her, or calls you more than you call her.
• You lean back in bed or on a couch and she curls up, resting her legs or head on you.
• When you’re away, she goes through less seen portions of your Myspace profile such as your blog, or older photos because she wants to find out more about you.
• She leaves you comments on your Myspace/Facebook.
• She brings you small tokens of her affection, such as a towel because you’re a surfer, an apron because you love to grill or enchiladas because you love Mexican food.
• She does things for you, like cooking your favorite meal.
• She seeks your attention, in a good way.
• She builds an altar with 666 blood red candles, pictures, and locks of your hair (just kidding – this is the girl who is needy).

When it comes to CMIs, watch for the actions and avoid listening to the words. I know girls who are feisty and give me hell, but their subconscious actions betray they are deeply into me. Keep an eye open so you can determine which girls are _truly_ into you, and those which merely bought into your frame and are letting you lead. In the future I’ll post some tips on putting a woman into chase mode.

-Milkman