You know, you hear a lot of stuff in the seduction community which gets repeated and then after time, becomes dogma. Though what you hear is not always correct or fully explained… know what I mean?
Leading a woman is one of these concepts. When you lead a woman, she shows compliance by following. Compliance can be as simple as, “Here, hold this a sec” and handing her your drink, “Cruise by my place at 7 and we’ll go on an adventure”, or “wear something sexy tonight… if you’re not wearing panties I’ll never tell”.
Keep building compliance until you have enough for sex. If you don't have compliance, you certainly will not be having sex.
Sex to ejaculate is not necessarily my motivator. I’ve found sex is a necessary act to bond a woman with you. Once you have sex, a woman will backwards rationalize everything which lead up to the moment. She will then be yours. If you really like a woman, sex is one of the best ways to keep her around.
Though, having sex doesn’t necessarily mean the interaction was totally solid.. You can still lose her.
What you want is a woman who not only wants sex from you, but she’s genuinely hooked on and chases you. That’s solid.
You can tell when they’re hooked. They text, they call. They touch you. They will look to you for direction. They will try to please you in many different ways.
These concepts can seem foreign to those who practice only random One Night Stand game. Unable to hold onto women themselves, they make long term mistakes for the sake of short term gains. That mindset is poor game.
Personally, I only go for chicks I really dig and have a connection with. Yeah, I actually feel a connection with every woman I decide to have sex with. They're all special to me, I'm just not necessarily the settling down type right now. I also figure if I’m going to put in the time to seduce her, I want to keep her around for a 1,000 night stand.
To “lead” is not enough and simplistic in its description. Instead of leading her, you want to show HER that she can be lead by you. You want to become an AUTHORITY FIGURE in her life.
As I think back to every woman I’ve ever had sex with, the most solid ones are those which looked to me as their leader, authority figure, and decision maker.
As an authority figure to women, they’d ask me questions like “what should I wear?”, or “what would make tonight perfect for you?” right before I tell her to go down on me... and she does it and is very, very happy in doing so - as she is pleasing me.
These are all independent, strong willed women who in their normal life probably put men in their place on a daily basis. Yet once you establish yourself as an authority figure in her life, it’s as if she loses all ability to make decisions. She looks towards you as the decision maker with these cute little doe eyes.
Being an authority figure doesn’t mean everything is your way or the highway. Nor does it mean being a dictator. I know people like that and they blow themselves out more often that way. Or, they hook only very weak-willed women who were susceptible to being lead in the first place.
So how do you become an authority figure? Many ways my friend..
Being decisive is one of the many ways. Guys who are bad with women will ask her “what do you want for dinner tonight?” and she will always reply “I don’t know, what do you want”?
Women HATE this. It annoys them. Annoying women is not conducive to glory times inside her glistening mound.
Instead, I like to tell her something like “I’m in the mood for sushi or Greek.. How about you?”
Women prefer it when guys interact with them in this way. You’re leading by giving her suggestions, but this is the important part - you’re also including her in the decision making process.
Chances are she’ll just go with one of your suggestions, but if there’s something she really wants she’ll let you know. This is a good model to follow any time there are decisions to be made, be it the day and time to hang out, where to hang out, what to do, etc.
Another component is showing a woman you can “handle her”. Women will act “feisty” and try to hold the frame. A frame is a way of looking at things. For example, “the guy always pays” is a frame. Once established, frames are usually harder to control. It’s important to set frames early and get her to adopt yours.
If you can show a woman your frames and they adopt them, you’re showing yourself as an authority figure to her.
I love to throw several frames out there. One I like in particular is that I “respect those who don’t care what other people think and go for what they want”. Women are more interested in protecting themselves from being judged socially than they are in doing something they enjoy (sex). If you can convey these values to them it allows them to relax that you will never judge them, and they are being someone you like by “going for what they want” – sex, with you.
To combat the "dating" frame, I'll tell a woman I'll pay for first round. The implication is that if she sticks around, she's paying for the next round. Don't worry about offending generations of women everywhere with the notion they should - GASP - pay on a date. It's the 21st century. Women are independent and can handle themselves. Also, being someone's doormat and personal portable purse is not conducive to building a good relationship. If a woman enjoys your company she will be very happy to buy a round of drinks. If she's not, she's either cheap, or is not really interested in you. Use things like this to weed out the bad women early. It'll save you trouble in the long run.
At the same time, getting a girl to qualify herself if your frames are different can be important as well. Qualifying is when she gives a reason why she doesn’t conform to your standards. Maybe you convey that you value freedom and the outdoors so you go running several times a week. She might not run at all but will qualify by telling you that she’s really busy but instead, she walks her dog.
Teasing a woman is a great way to get her to view you as an authority. When you bust on her, never bust on anything like family, friends, religion – things she can’t change or had no part in. If you were to make fun of her race, her snaggle tooth, or something else - STOP - you're doing it wrong.
Instead, bust on her for silly things she’s said or done. Maybe she accidentally wore two different colors of socks. Or maybe, she spilled her drink onto your shoe or her blouse. “Wow, I think I’m gonna have to revoke your fashionista license with those socks”. She'll qualify herself, "I was sooo tired this morning.... normally I'm very coordinated!" "Yeah, I can tell... ha ha"...
Take it a step further. I was dating this model, she was 5’7, Puerto Rican, very thin, attractive woman with killer curves. Incredible body. Did I say incredible? Any guy would die to get her in the sack. She told me she had to stay a certain weight or less, so I’d bust on her for her food choices. I’d tell her she was being a good girl and could have 3 instead of her normal 2 slices of lettuce today. Just have fun with it.
When it comes to it, leading a woman and showing her that you are an authority figure are great tools to have in your box to solidly hook women.
That’s all for now, unless you’re planning on payin’ for this shit…
--Milkman
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