Attraction, Dating, and Seduction Chronicles

Changing format

2011-02-14T09:02:00.000-08:00

When I have time I've decided I'm changing the format of this blog. Instead of giving out techniques and tips I'm going to change it to chronicle my misadventures from before I got into the game until modern day. I feel guys can identify more with a story and progress than they can random tips.

Increase your chance to get laid 300%!

2011-01-13T16:36:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

Have you ever been out with a girl and at the end of the night she told you she had a really fun time, gave you an ass-out hug or cheek kiss, and you had to go home to jerk off? 3====) - _ -

How many times have you been making out with a girl on the couch, but then she suddenly clammed up and you couldn’t recapture the moment? She suddenly got “tired”, and you were forced to play flog the dolphin at home... alone.

And many more...

Here's some great easy tips you can start using right away to get from the friend zone to the end zone and score a touchdown with all those girls who are waiting for you to show them why sex with you is a great thing!

Have fun... I know I did while experimenting to see what works best ;)

Dropping a girl off at her house but don’t know how to continue the night inside with her?

Solution: Tell her “Hey I can't stay long, but may I use your restroom real quick before I have to go?" Go pee, wash off your man-stank so she’ll blow you (LOL) and then work your crazy magic on her, you mad man.

Why this works: Because it includes a False Time Constraint, it eases her fears you might be some needy guy who will latch onto her and not go away when she’s tired or isn’t yet (key word) into you. And then once you work your magic inside she won’t want you to go home anyway.

Need to transition from a couch make-out to the bed without it being awkward?

Solution: My favorite is to just stand up without saying a thing, put your hand out, let the girl take it, lead her to stand up, bend down and pick her up and carry her fireman style to my bed. I might even spank her ass once or twice too. You can also just put her hand out and say “come with me real quick”, but I love the fireman carry.. and girls do also! Their giggling confirms this 100% approved methodology.

Why it works: The dominance, leading, and fun you display with the fireman carry causes her to experience an emotional buying temperature spike. BT spikes cause compliance. For the layman, that means she'll do things you want her to, including moving to the bed.

My night out with this girl was going really well, we made out all night! But then suddenly she didn’t seem as into it and things sort of fizzled.

Solution: Perform the push-off on girls when you first make out with them. Right when you're making out with her, and especially when you can tell she is really getting turned on you drop this on her and then walk away: "Wow, it's really getting hot in here." You can tell she's turned on because her breathing will get heavier and slower. If you're feeling especially cocky or devilish you can tell her "Whoa... that's all you get for now". It's important for you to be the one to end the kissing on your terms. When you end it and walk away you just do something else like make the two of you drinks, go to the bathroom, etc. And then come back and pick up where you left off. Only do this once or twice or you ruin the effect.

Why it works: There are two principles at work here. First, when you make out with a girl too much you release too much sexual energy and things fizzle. Instead there should be a natural crescendo, building towards sex. The other thing is that in our society, girls are in the role of being the pursued. That makes you the suitor, where you have to please her, and she doesn’t have to do a damn thing except accept or deny your overtures. She doesn’t have to invest or even be interested in the interaction… so is it any surprise when it doesn’t go your way? But it’s possible to flip the script on them so they are the pursuer. This (among other things) does exactly that. Girls don’t know how to handle not getting what they want so they often aggressively pursue guys when the script is flipped on them.

BONUS

Want her to end up inside your place at the end of the night without some awkward "Want to come inside" question? (Which sets off her radar!)

Solution: Start your date at your house. Invite her in, show her your Facebook or stuff from your life or travels. After 30 min, bounce out to wherever you were going for the night.

Why it works: It gets her used to and comfortable with being in your place, so later it isn’t such a big deal when she comes inside at the end of the night. Work your magic from there.

That’s all you get for now. Hey I’m not getting paid for this you know… feel free to hire me if you really want more ;) (NLP, NLP, NLP…)

Enjoy,
-Milkman

Would you like one-o, or dos-o?

2010-12-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

I’m not really one for “routines” but I come up with re-usable bits all the time. A reusable bit is a funny joke or comment you can recycle in many different situations. Mostly they are good for quick buying temperature spikes. I’ve noticed people are more compliant after a buying temperature or investment spike.

So if you want something from a girl – a response in text, follow you to the bar, etc drop a buying temperature or investment spike on her and she’ll likely be far more compliant than without.

For bonus points pay attention to your own interactions with people and learn to keep and recycle the best ones in your back pocket to pull out. After a while you accumulate so many of these you have something for just about every occasion.

This bit works with someone of ethnicity who speaks a foreign language fluently or as their native language (ie, Russian, etc). This one was with a Latina.. modify for other languages appropriately.

HB: Do you have any spare CD’s?
MM: Would you like one-o, or dos-o?
HB: Dos-o.
MM: Hey your Spanish is improving.
HB: (laughs)
MM: You’ve been practicing haven’t you?
HB: (laughs) Yes I’ve been practicing!

Transition from there.

--MM

Getting the blowjob you always dreamed about

2010-11-18T13:07:00.000-08:00

Most guys have trouble with getting their girl to do what they want in the sack… let’s face it, having sex the way you like it can be a sticky situation!

Through my trials and error I have discovered the 3 key elements to getting amazing blowjobs from girls I date.

Avoid being negative or overly critical.
Emphasize the positive
Be assertive about what you like

1 and 2 are fairly similar but I have to break them down into seperate examples.

I once joked and told an amazing girl I was dating that her blowjob was “the worst I’d ever had”. It was a true statement, we had an honest type of relationship, but at the same time it was overly critical and it hurt her. Do you think I ever got another blowjob from her again? Uh… no. Being critical and making cruel statements is a great way to break intimate relations. Don’t be the dope I was and make the same mistake.

Instead, you want to emphasize the positive. There is definitely a technique to a superb blowjob. And frankly, most guys are so excited to stick their dick in a woman’s mouth that they will tolerate any crappy blowjob just to have a woman perform on them. This reinforces bad blowjob behavior and as such, most of the blowjobs I’ve received from women have been really, really bad. The kind of bad where you have to think about some other super hot girl just to get excited enough to finish in her mouth.

But since I began emphasizing the positive I’ve had much better results from my sexual partners. If a girl is doing the “twist the hand” move while blowing me – like good porno girls do – I’ll tell her something which lets her know I’m enjoying the experience. I might say “Baby it really turns me on when you….” And then I’ll fill in what she is SPECIFICALLY doing. It’s important to be specific or she won’t know what she’s doing is having a crazy good effect on you.

Lastly, you want to be assertive in bed about what you like. Again, ignoring the critical, if she’s doing something wrong avoid telling her she’s doing it wrong. Instead, just tell her what you like. Tell her “I really like it when you go up and down with your mouth and your hand”. Even if she’s never done that before. It lets her know what you like. And since the whole point of oral sex is to please the receiver, she’ll do it for you.

If there are any ladies reading, they can follow these 3 basic steps to get the kind of sex or oral they like from their dude as well.

Lastly I have some advice for the ladies: Stop treating your dude like an appliance.

You expect your guy to know your body inside and out and you expect him to make you cum. What is he, a vibrator? Perform on demand? Make ME cum?

You are an active partner in the sexual experience too you know!

Take responsibility for your orgasm. If you’re being pounded doggy style, do you know how many women I’ve met that won’t bother to reach “back there” and play with their own clit? When doing so would create an amazing experience for them.

You are just as responsible for your orgasm as the guy is. Trust me, the dude knows how to get himself off. You should know as well.

If you don’t even know what you like, well, don’t expect the guy to help much other than just being the “stunt cock”.

Enjoy kiddies,
Milkman

Online dating and photo quality

2010-08-13T10:05:00.000-07:00

A lot of guys ask me how I do so well at online game.

I've been in it for a while and let's just say I have my methods. ;) However, there's one thing which recently 'upped my game'.

Getting professionally done photos.

I'd always gotten decent attention from women. But being an older guy, whose 'searchable credentials' didn't put me in the prime areas women might be looking for. So I always did the opening myself, and had great responsiveness.

But as soon as I got professionally done photos, I started getting a LOT of attention. The # of winks and emails I got would increase 2-4x. Women were more responsive.

Great professionally done photos can make a huge difference when it comes to online game.

I read an article from a dating site this morning which made a lot of sense to me. Now they try to go into all this statistical mumbo-jumbo about how this or that makes a better picture. I'd recommend you read it and just take it for what it is: re-affirmation that better looking or professional photos hook girls much better.

Here you go, and leave the shirtless bathroom mirror camera phone shots off your profile.

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont-be-ugly-by-accident/comment-page-5/#comment-15623

Liquor Store pickup LR, pt. 2

2010-08-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

Txt'd the girl from the liquor store a couple times and then called her on the phone.

Set up a classic Karaoke hangout. She headed to my place. Made her a drink. Got cozy on the couch.

Headed to Karaoke. She couldn't be out late; bad logistics. Sent her home. The next day she tells me my lips have the power to make her lose track of time. I txt her my lips have superpowers.

Two days later it's my birthday. I have the day off. Meeting my sis for breakfast. Bevmo girl texts me happy birthday. She says she owes a certain birthday boy a kiss. It's on.

I seed logistics and she comes over later. She's got a busy day of laundry and errands later on she "has to do". Life of a hired gun…...

Chillin out on the couch having too logical of a conversation. At least she does most the talking. I lean over and kiss her for a bit to hush her up. She gets hot and mounts me.

I pick her up still straddling me and carry to the bedroom.

I pop her nip and she warns me it gets her too hot and she loses control. Oh no. She says she's been too good for too long. I tell her sometimes it's good to be bad.

I'm laying on the bed in my boxers sporting a pup tent while she's stripping. Her body is fine. I tell her check the tent out, we're going camping.

She asks me if I have a condom. I grab my favorite brand and she mounts me.

Glory times ensue.

She’s been over several times. This girl is foxy. The last time I saw her I'd told her to come over "looking sexy for me". She came over wearing a black g-string, corset, tiny skirt, very high heels.

Liquor Store pickup, pt. 1

2010-08-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, I headed down to a costume shop to pick up a pirate costume for a cruise party tonight. I bounced to the liquor store next door. Looking around for the good stuff when I see this super hot tall girl. Long straight hair, 5'9, tiny waist, super nice ass, big titties. Perfect for splitting in half or throwing over your shoulders.

Face is a little off, but her body is so damn tight. You had to have seen this girl. I'd nut her up anyway. She's in a tight but professional suit with a little skirt, carrying a clipboard. I don't know what it is but a chick done up all in a business outfit, yet retaining her femininity does something for me. I walk past her, grab my bottle from the wall and as I'm walkin back in her direction, away from the wall over my shoulder I go spontaneous/observation:

Me: "Everything in order?"
Hottie: "Yeah, just tryin to get this all arranged."
Me: "Well good..", I say, moving around the beverage display to her side.. "you know why right? We have important partying to do tonight!"
(she laughs)
Hottie: "Now what are you buying? It looks interesting"
Hottie: Me: "Melon liquor and sugar free sweet and sour. It's for a Tokyo ice tea. Ever had one?"
Hottie: "No but I like to make godiva chocolate martinis…"

We get to talking, turns out it was her birthday last week and she went a cruise like I'm doing. Then even weirder she dressed up as a pirate on a TV show last week.

I already have a LTR coming with me tonight but tell her to come anyway. Figure I'll just hook up with her sometime in the future, or turn her into a pivot. She doesn't have a lot of friends because she's always busy workin. Starts qualifying how life is hard etc. I give her approval. She seems nice, maybe even a little innocent. Definitely a freak in the sack tho. She seems like she might be the type to love pleasing her man.

Asked if she had a facebook. Cool, give me your # I'll text you cause I gotta try that martini you make. Makes no sense but the switcheroo works 99% of the time, every time.

How being an authority figure relates to attracting attractive women

2010-06-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

You know, you hear a lot of stuff in the seduction community which gets repeated and then after time, becomes dogma. Though what you hear is not always correct or fully explained… know what I mean?

Leading a woman is one of these concepts. When you lead a woman, she shows compliance by following. Compliance can be as simple as, “Here, hold this a sec” and handing her your drink, “Cruise by my place at 7 and we’ll go on an adventure”, or “wear something sexy tonight… if you’re not wearing panties I’ll never tell”.

Keep building compliance until you have enough for sex. If you don't have compliance, you certainly will not be having sex.

Sex to ejaculate is not necessarily my motivator. I’ve found sex is a necessary act to bond a woman with you. Once you have sex, a woman will backwards rationalize everything which lead up to the moment. She will then be yours. If you really like a woman, sex is one of the best ways to keep her around.

Though, having sex doesn’t necessarily mean the interaction was totally solid.. You can still lose her.

What you want is a woman who not only wants sex from you, but she’s genuinely hooked on and chases you. That’s solid.

You can tell when they’re hooked. They text, they call. They touch you. They will look to you for direction. They will try to please you in many different ways.

These concepts can seem foreign to those who practice only random One Night Stand game. Unable to hold onto women themselves, they make long term mistakes for the sake of short term gains. That mindset is poor game.

Personally, I only go for chicks I really dig and have a connection with. Yeah, I actually feel a connection with every woman I decide to have sex with. They're all special to me, I'm just not necessarily the settling down type right now. I also figure if I’m going to put in the time to seduce her, I want to keep her around for a 1,000 night stand.

To “lead” is not enough and simplistic in its description. Instead of leading her, you want to show HER that she can be lead by you. You want to become an AUTHORITY FIGURE in her life.

As I think back to every woman I’ve ever had sex with, the most solid ones are those which looked to me as their leader, authority figure, and decision maker.

As an authority figure to women, they’d ask me questions like “what should I wear?”, or “what would make tonight perfect for you?” right before I tell her to go down on me... and she does it and is very, very happy in doing so - as she is pleasing me.

These are all independent, strong willed women who in their normal life probably put men in their place on a daily basis. Yet once you establish yourself as an authority figure in her life, it’s as if she loses all ability to make decisions. She looks towards you as the decision maker with these cute little doe eyes.

Being an authority figure doesn’t mean everything is your way or the highway. Nor does it mean being a dictator. I know people like that and they blow themselves out more often that way. Or, they hook only very weak-willed women who were susceptible to being lead in the first place.

So how do you become an authority figure? Many ways my friend..

Being decisive is one of the many ways. Guys who are bad with women will ask her “what do you want for dinner tonight?” and she will always reply “I don’t know, what do you want”?

Women HATE this. It annoys them. Annoying women is not conducive to glory times inside her glistening mound.

Instead, I like to tell her something like “I’m in the mood for sushi or Greek.. How about you?”

Women prefer it when guys interact with them in this way. You’re leading by giving her suggestions, but this is the important part - you’re also including her in the decision making process.

Chances are she’ll just go with one of your suggestions, but if there’s something she really wants she’ll let you know. This is a good model to follow any time there are decisions to be made, be it the day and time to hang out, where to hang out, what to do, etc.

Another component is showing a woman you can “handle her”. Women will act “feisty” and try to hold the frame. A frame is a way of looking at things. For example, “the guy always pays” is a frame. Once established, frames are usually harder to control. It’s important to set frames early and get her to adopt yours.

If you can show a woman your frames and they adopt them, you’re showing yourself as an authority figure to her.

I love to throw several frames out there. One I like in particular is that I “respect those who don’t care what other people think and go for what they want”. Women are more interested in protecting themselves from being judged socially than they are in doing something they enjoy (sex). If you can convey these values to them it allows them to relax that you will never judge them, and they are being someone you like by “going for what they want” – sex, with you.

To combat the "dating" frame, I'll tell a woman I'll pay for first round. The implication is that if she sticks around, she's paying for the next round. Don't worry about offending generations of women everywhere with the notion they should - GASP - pay on a date. It's the 21st century. Women are independent and can handle themselves. Also, being someone's doormat and personal portable purse is not conducive to building a good relationship. If a woman enjoys your company she will be very happy to buy a round of drinks. If she's not, she's either cheap, or is not really interested in you. Use things like this to weed out the bad women early. It'll save you trouble in the long run.

At the same time, getting a girl to qualify herself if your frames are different can be important as well. Qualifying is when she gives a reason why she doesn’t conform to your standards. Maybe you convey that you value freedom and the outdoors so you go running several times a week. She might not run at all but will qualify by telling you that she’s really busy but instead, she walks her dog.

Teasing a woman is a great way to get her to view you as an authority. When you bust on her, never bust on anything like family, friends, religion – things she can’t change or had no part in. If you were to make fun of her race, her snaggle tooth, or something else - STOP - you're doing it wrong.

Instead, bust on her for silly things she’s said or done. Maybe she accidentally wore two different colors of socks. Or maybe, she spilled her drink onto your shoe or her blouse. “Wow, I think I’m gonna have to revoke your fashionista license with those socks”. She'll qualify herself, "I was sooo tired this morning.... normally I'm very coordinated!" "Yeah, I can tell... ha ha"...

Take it a step further. I was dating this model, she was 5’7, Puerto Rican, very thin, attractive woman with killer curves. Incredible body. Did I say incredible? Any guy would die to get her in the sack. She told me she had to stay a certain weight or less, so I’d bust on her for her food choices. I’d tell her she was being a good girl and could have 3 instead of her normal 2 slices of lettuce today. Just have fun with it.

When it comes to it, leading a woman and showing her that you are an authority figure are great tools to have in your box to solidly hook women.

That’s all for now, unless you’re planning on payin’ for this shit…
--Milkman

Triggers

2010-05-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

Let’s pull a random subject out of my arse, yay! Milkman gigantic post time. Gather around, kiddies…

When I first got into game I noticed that women all seemingly acted the same, so I thought it was a joke that “women were unique”. I’ve never been a misogynist, but I have to admit… this sounds pretty misogynistic! I might as well start my own talk show and change my last name to Leykis…

Now days I sport a more refined view. Remember, experience tempers ones’ viewpoint.

I’ve realized women all show the same REACTIONS. If she gets interested in you, she might twirl her hair, punch you when you bust on her, ask you questions, ignore the pleas of her friends to “go dance”, ask you where the afterparty is (code for 'let's fuck'), etc.

These reactions are almost universal when a woman is interested in you…

But what makes women unique is that what TRIGGERS these reactions are different for every single woman.

When you’re talking to a girl, imagine yourself as a suave undercover agent: It’s your job to find out what TRIGGERS her attraction.

Is it your subcommunications? Your physique? Your image? The things you’re talking about? Some quick-witted observation, or ability to bust on her? Your confidence? Your balls-out desire? Your ability to win over her friends? Some nerdy gambit you read on the Internet? The fact you’re wearing a fuzzy vest? The fact she’s seen multiple women make passes at you?

Anything and everything can cause an attraction trigger in a woman – be ready to try it all and BE it all. This is why anything and everything you do to improve yourself (inside and out) will help you – you never know where the source of her attraction will come from.

Now, her personal state affects her triggers as well.

Wait.. what? YES.

On one night you might meet a girl and she might completely not be interested in you… but when you see her a month later, her state (and hence her triggers) have changed, and she’s not only receptive to you but she wants your mothafuckin’ monkey balls!

When it comes to it, a girl’s words can lie but her actions are her “tells”. In poker, a player might bluff but each has “tells” which reveal what is really going on. Does she really have a boyfriend or does she want to see if you have the balls to follow through?

Get really fucking good at looking for these “tells”. Let them guide you.

If a girl banters with you on your opener, that’s GREAT.

An opener may not necessarily cause attraction, but it can communicate valuable things: You’re fun, social, and outgoing. It does something else……

It gives you more time to find out what her attraction triggers are.

As I said, every woman is different in what “hooks” or “triggers” her. Be prepared to try different things when you talk to her.

--Milkman

Personal Update

2010-04-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

Just a personal update today.

I’m in a really great mood lately, ‘cause I finally took some time to travel.

It’s amazing how taking a little time off and going on an adventure can make all the difference in the world to your internal state.

We get bogged down in the mire and forget ourselves. Everything can seem mundane or repetitive and it shows in your attitude when you talk to people. Even if you’ve lived (past tense) a fun, interesting life, you must do these type of things to renew yourself now and then. It keeps your excitement and zest on the upswing and people can tell.

I have one life to live so I’m gonna make the most of it. I’ve decided to take one dream vacation to surf per year, for the rest of my life. Boca del Toro is next.

With a few exceptions, the women on the North Shore for the most part were fairly amazing. They all surf, and they rip too. They’re all super hot, young, and extremely friendly. Such a turn on and start comparison to the women of San Diego.

One more thing which has contributed to me feeling great is I also took a couple hours out of my busy schedule to buy some new shoes and clothes for myself. It’s amazing how great you feel when you think you look good. I caught several girls checking me out in my new duds. Is it the clothes or the attitude? Maybe a bit of both.

Last night I took some buddies out last night to one of my favorite Tuesday night venues. We sat down next to a couple blonde hotties.

You can take any situation or observation and turn it into an opener. I believe I opened them with, “So how were your mini kobe burgers….. the consensus over here is Mmmmmm”. They liked it.

I was just demoing for a friend so he could see how easy it is to talk to girls. Just have a good attitude and be fun. Girls will like you. No need to be mr Gamey over the top pickup entertainer guy or follow some crazy complicated “method” which leaves you so bogged down in details you feel lost.

But no time for girls, I was there to hang with my bros – so I closed her. Did my name quiz on her and then had her save my name in her phone as "Amazing Milkman". They took off for a bit but on her way out she stopped to say goodnight and that it was nice meeting us. Seems solid.

I’ll follow up today once I remember what her name was. Jesus my listening skills are horrible when I’m drinking. I need to work on that. Since I’m half deaf when I drink I go off vibe, facial expressions, kino, etc… 60% of the time it works, EVERY TIME... but remembering details like this helps you a lot.

My main LTR is out of the country right now, and I have a FB coming over tonight.

She has been sending me all sorts of nasty texts and dirty pictures of herself. I play it off like “cool”. Or make a joke out of it. She sent me a pic of her boobs and I sent her back, “I believe Shakespeare is the one who said To Bewbz or not to bewbz, that is the question. And the answer is YES! :p”.

Drives her nuts that I don’t give her much sexual power, so she comes on stronger. Kinda cute to watch. She’s told me her ass needs a good fucking, too. I can’t decide if I want to fuck her tits, have her give me an epic blowjob (she’s literally the best I’ve ever had), or if I should give her what she wants..

Needless to say, don’t wait up for me tonight ;)

Recap:

Take time off to do things you love.
Treat yourself now and then.
Get creative with openers.
Be fun and have a good attitude.
Flirt like you're James Bond.

-Milkman

Turning a Phone # into a Lay 2.0

2010-04-15T12:18:00.001-07:00

I wrote the original article well over a year ago, but lucky you I decided to update it today. Read on...

How many times have you met a cool or sexy girl you were into, tried to follow up with her, and she was non responsive?

Or maybe, she was totally into you after you called her, but was a super flake and you couldn’t get her to go on a date.

What’s a guy to do? Work on your reopening skillset… that’s how.

A solid reopening skillset can give you the opportunity to turn even the softest closes into dates, lays, LTRs, and more.

A shitty reopening skillset can turn hard hooks into flakes.

In the movie Swingers, Trent gave Mike the advice to wait 3 days or even 6 to call a girl so he didn’t scare her off.

The waiting “x” days rule is ok, but if you think of pickup rules in the sense of traditional tools, it’s more of a sledge hammer when you need something more refined.

HOW DO I START?

Good follow up technique starts with the interaction and the close; the more solid the interaction, the less chance of a flake.

I’ll also do a number of things to secure less flakes.

- Especially if a girl is drunk, I’ll “test” her and make her repeat my name several times. My current LTR I quizzed 6 times the night we met at Stingaree. Clubs are loud and overwhelm the senses. Burn it in through repetition so she remembers who you are. Stand out. It’s dumb to lose a girl because the night was a blur.

- Save your name in her phone as something memorable or outlandish. I like to save it as “Amazing Milkman”. This is a cardinal rule yet is skipped by so many. The small Buying Temperature jump she gets from seeing your name pop up on her phone in this manner is just enough to compel her to be more responsive. Get her number, call her, and then compliance test her with “Let me see your phone a sec”. Take the extra minute to save your number in her phone. It’s dumb to lose a girl because only a number shows up and she didn’t know it was the amazing guy she met the night before.

- Give her a nickname. If a girl drips her drink on my shoes I might accuse her of being the girl who got me wet and then call her Aquagirl.

- During the course of your conversation, “Go Fishing” and seed several activities with her but don’t invite her right away as that would appear needy. Just let her know you do fun stuff without sounding braggish. Instead, take note of which ones she seems most interested in. Change the topic. And later return to it and invite her to something. See below generic script:

MM (Seeding fishhooks): Last week was so amazing, I did X, Y, and Z…
HB (She bites): Wow, I LOVE “Z”!
MM (Changing topic): So anyway…
HB (She goes on to new thread but wants to know about the last one): Stuff
MM (Returning to seed): Hey I’m gonna go “Z” next week some time. You should come, it’ll be fun… I’m free a couple days, what looks good for you?

These things all lessen the chance of flakes. Do them all.

OK ENOUGH WITH THE INTERACTION, WHEN DO I REOPEN?

So you have this hottie’s number burning a hole in your cell phone… holy shit, suddenly it's the wrong kind of weenie roast. So when do you reopen her?

In the generic sense I typically wait til around 11am-1pm to contact a girl the day after, depending on when I wanted to get her out.

If a girl is out all night getting drunk, it doesn’t make sense to send her a message much earlier; she’s still in her PJ’s and even if she sees the message, likes it, and remembers who you are, the chance of ADD is high as she may simply go back to sleep. Thus, the 11a-1pm rule is born.

Exceptions to this rule are when you have discussed earlier plans with her or there might be a time limit, such as she is flying home the next day and you need enough time to work your magic.

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE

Before I discuss actual messages to be sent, let’s talk about keeping your eye on the prize. A lot of guys lose sight of why they are part of the community, and thus they fail in their goals. You must always have a goal to succeed at it.

Texting a quality woman you find attractive can be QUITE addictive… but keep your eyes on the goals, son!

The goal is to get her out, and have sex with her.

I always make having sex with women a priority.

Not because I’m some sort of shallow, immature being who needs to use women as an extension of my hand to ejaculate into.

Not because I was bullied in high school and have some pathetic need for validation to get revenge by showing the world how women love me.

Not because great sex can be very passionate and enriching for both parties involved.

I make it a priority because something changes with women when you have sex with them. They accept you. And your relationship with her is more honest than ever. I know that sex is very important to the formation of this bond. She becomes yours, fully.

Plus I like fucking women.

Immediately after sex I’ll know if this girl is a longer term interest or if she’s going to be a fun friend.

Texting fits into this as it is a tool to help get you that date in the first place.

WHAT NOT TO SEND

Here are examples of bad reopeners in no particular order:

Boring: Hey Susan, it’s Bob from Friday night. How are you?

-If she responds to this it will be out of politeness, not interest in fucking you.

Weak: Hi Sarah, it’s Peter. Would you like to go out some time?

-Asking for her permission or direction. Horrible; you’re the man – take the lead.

Mr. Creepy Over Sexual or Fetish Guy: It got hot and heavy the other night… want to finish what we started? I’ve got my unicorn riding crops all warmed up!

-If a girl was drunk and horny in the moment when you met her, but is not the following day you can trigger ASD by sending her overly sexual messages too early in getting to know her. Still, if she is a sexual being and is comfortable with you it could work in your favor. "Newbies" should use caution.

SENDING THE RIGHT REOPENER

The right reopener will:

Grab her attention – you want her to take notice.
Begin building compliance and buying temperature
Finally it compels her to respond to you

The best messages I send out often incorporate callback humor (very important), it may bust on her or get her to qualify herself to you about why she’s good or can still hang out with you, it may challenge her, or might be cocky/funny.

Let’s start with some simple reopeners:

Hi NICKNAME, do u speak text? –Milkman
Hi NICKNAME, are you textually active? ;) –Milkman
NICKNAME, let’s pull an Olivia Newton John and get Textual! Can you speak txt? –Guess who! ;p

It’s dumb.. strike that, it’s MORONIC, to send a girl a great witty text and get “who r u?” in return.

Call her by a nickname, sign your own name, save your name in her phone and that won’t happen. If you’re certain she’ll know who you are, it’s fun to sign "–Guess who! :p"

Then you can tell her she's amazing and should be a member of Mensa for figuring it out. For some reason girls always want to punch me after I tell them that. :p

The great thing about the “Do you speak text” text, is that there’s a built in safety net if she doesn’t answer. Normally texting and then calling a girl would be a little needy, but if she doesn’t answer that yes, she can text, then you may simply call her later as you’ve assumed she couldn’t text.

See, I’m brilliant. And devilishly handsome, too.

Let’s get more advanced. Get creative and challenge her. Get her to qualify herself. Bust on her, but don’t be a dick:

NICKNAME, you left the party so soon… I thought you said you could hang? By the way, do you speak txt? –Milkman

NICKNAME! I’ve never seen a model eat so many nachos. Did they forget to feed you your 3 mandatory pieces of lettuce last night? :p –Milkman

** Story time **

I met a hot, skinny professional woman online. She actually went AFC and emailed me “How are you doing? How is the weather in San Diego?” to which I replied “Oh you did not just ask me about the weather!...” Later, I opened her on text for the first time:

“Hi Weathergirl, it’s looking like your forecast will have a little Milkman in your future! ;)”

This pulls in all of the above principles together. Busting on her, callback humor, giving her a nickname, and more…

Breaking down how texts like these work, you first grab her attention by using her name or nickname. You’ve also saved your name in her phone and signed who you are. She now knows this message is from someone cool she should pay attention to, and you do not get the dreaded “who r u”?

Next you pump attraction or buying temperature with some of the above principles by using callback humor, busting on her, roleplaying, and more.

I prefer statements over questions, but “Do u speak txt” is fairly harmless so I’ll roll with it.

Lastly this all compels her to respond to you.

She responded! Great! You’re on the path to hanging out with her.

ESCALATION

As a man, it’s your primary duty to escalate because women are taught not to by our society’s framing. Some will, but don’t rely on it.

Escalation comes in many forms and steps and can be broken down.

A phone number is escalated to a txt or call.
A txt is escalated to a call.
A call is escalated to a meetup.
A meetup is escalated to being physical with kino.
Kino escalates to makeout.
Makeout escalates to petting.
Petting escalates to…

…Pardon me while I excuse myself to the restroom for 5 minutes…… fap fap fap.

Break it down and it’s not so scary and the pattern is completely natural.

Become aware of where and when you should escalate is a skill unto itself. But that's a discussion for another time...

*Note some guys get lost in texting girls due to re-occurring bad community advice of “Starting a text war” with her. If you sit there txting her for 2 weeks, you’ve lost sight of the goals. The goal is to use text to get her to hang out with you, not to “text war” her for 2 weeks until she loses interest and friend zones you.

As you’re texting her and running your tight text game, she’s being feisty, playful, throwing you IOIs, and shooting replies off to you quickly. Feels great huh? Awesome, well your job ain’t done yet, bucko.

While all this is going on it’s telling me she’s at the height of her response compliance, so I’ll take this opportunity to CALL HER because she’s most liable to answer!

CALLING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME

Lengthwise, I’ve found 10 minutes is generally more than enough time to talk before setting up a date but if I’m enjoying myself I might go as long as 30 minutes.

I’ll false time constraint myself so I don’t end up on the phone forever; “I have to surf with my friend so I have to go in a bit, but blah blah blah…”

I’ll pump her buying temperature, I’ll do a little getting to know you stuff. I’ll keep it light and fun.

I’ll start sexually framing if I haven’t already, I might make some sex related jokes to see how she responds. If she responds well, the DTF factor will go up. If she doesn't respond well I'll know she's not yet comfortable enough or doesn't "get" my humor.

If you forgot to do it in your initial interaction, I’ll subtly seed fun things I like to do like sushi, surfing, snorkeling, karaoke, biking, hiking, wine tasting, etc.

I won’t invite her to anything but I’ll take note what interests her and change the subject.

I’ll find out logistics. I like to know what part of town she lives in and what her work schedule might be like. From that I can compare to the activities in my head I’m sure she’ll enjoy and I’ll make a decision where I'll take her and when we should meet.

Sooner is always best – “strike while the iron is hot” completely applies when it comes to getting women out. If you don’t, it can peter out, and then you have to adopt a longer term strategy. On an infinite timeline, you can probably have sex with any woman you want. The goal is not to wait so long, however. ;)

“I have to (activity) with my friend, but I’m free after that… I’ve kind of been thinking about this great brunch place. You should totally come, it’ll be fun”

If she’s down with your plan, you need to setup logistics. Generally these are the best options you have, in order of how good they are for you getting laid.

Have her drive to your place, and you drive the two of you on your date. That way you end up at your place afterwards and have a window to have sex with her at a location where you are in control of logistics (a roomate isn't gonna bust in, a cat won't start trying to get her attn, she won't see her books and be reminded of that early college course, etc).
You pick her up at her place and at the end of the date use the “I need to use your restroom real quick before I go” excuse to get inside and have sex with her. Or if you can tell she’s ready, you just bail back to her place.
You meet her at the venue. This is the worst, avoid it if possible. You’ll have ten times the work to seed things to get her to bounce back to your place or hers.

EXAMPLE CONVERSATION

Milkman: You know, you’re feisty and kind of fun. We should get together some time.

Girl: Kind of fun? KIND OF? I’m a LOT of fun! Yeah, we should get together some time.. so you can see how fun I am! (Or, if she’s super into you she’ll suggest logistics right here)

Milkman: How about Tuesday, or do you know if Thursday is better for you?

Girl: I have extreme crocheting class on Tuesdays, so let’s do Thursday. What are we doing? (Note: When girls ask “what are we doing”, they really mean: “What should I wear?”)

Milkman: It’s a surprise so I can’t tell, but I can promise its right up your alley! Just dress in something cutesy-comfy and be over at my place at 7:30. Do you have a pen?

Girl: I’ll get one. What’s the address?

Milkman: (Tell her address and directions). Call me when you leave your place so I know you’re on your way.

Girl: Ok (compliance)

Milkman: Almost forgot… show up with an appetite, I’ll be making a gourmet meal before we go out. By the way, do you like the crusts on or off your Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches?

Girl: Ha ha, you better make me more than peanut butter and jelly, but I’m a “crust on” kind of girl. Blah blah..

Milkman: Oh shit! My buddy is here so I have to scoot… but it was nice talking to you and we’ll see each other Thursday!”

Notice the progression here.

I don't ask "How is Thursday at 5:37pm and 23 seconds for you?" of course you'll get a "NO", and then have to ask again, and again, and again.. wow, soundin pretty needy here buddy. Instead, there's a better way.

Let the logistics come out slowly. Concentrate on the biggest things first, like first that the two of you should hang out. Then I choose a day, followed by a time. As each thing is confirmed I move on.

You should be VERY SPECIFIC when it comes to the when, and where of the date. Have a plan!

By the way, I never call it a date because that sets a frame. I say we should hang out.

AFTER CALL MAINTENENCE

Obviously if you’re meeting her later that day no further contact is necessary.

But if you’re meeting her the day after, you might want to text her some time before the meetup to keep things fresh. "Ready to have some fun dorking out at Karaoke tonight?" goes a long way towards her not assuming it's off since you never contacted her.

If the meetup is several days away, you definitely need to at least text her once. It’s weird to meet someone, setup a hangout, and then all of a sudden they vanish for a week. Instead, shoot a text midway.

Enjoy, my little milk bottles.
-Milkman

Haha, Sinn are you kidding me? :P

2010-04-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

Sinn is one of my favorite pickup artists, and probably the one which is closest to my own style. He’s flexible, usually socially aware, and fast to escalate, like me.

But occasionally even a “Guru” can say some really retarded things.

Sinn is really smart but he’s a younger guy and younger guys tend to only view the world from their own eyes… they just don't have the experience to let them see other points of views.

I received an e-mail from him the other day which promises to tell you how to sexualize every conversation with women. It starts out with asking her age, and then doing a cold read, leading to sexual framing telling her that when she’s attracted to someone she goes for what she wants and doesn’t care what other people think.

Normally telling a girl that she goes for what she wants (sexually aggressive) and doesn’t care about what other people think (doesn’t care about being socially judged) are two GREAT things to convey to women. Along with conveying that you don’t judge are some great things to setup casual sex.

Sinn breaks down the cold reads based on age bracket. The others are decent but when he got to the 30+ cougars he said something so horribly terrible I laughed out loud. Days later I still am. Really Sinn??!?!? Come on bro!

He suggests you tell a cougar “she has that youthful look in her eyes”. HAHA. Come on buddy!

Dude are you kidding man? That’s something you say about your about-to-die Old Yeller dog… “He’s got that youthful look in his eyes, aww don’t ‘cha boy!!!” "good boy! here's a tasty treat!"

Or something you say to your GRANDMA… “Grandma you’re so full of spunk, you got that youthful look in your eyes!” *pinch pinch*

You say that to a 30+ woman you’re trying to have sex with and you’re liable to trigger all kinds of insecurity in her and introduce a very large possibility of blowing yourself out.

Basically, this is a big neg. Women’s perceived value will play a large portion in how they respond to negs. If you say this to a very insecure woman who lacks confidence, it could be enough to blow your set.

Calibrate to your target! Negs aren’t really necessary – maybe only if she’s being feisty and it’s deserved for frame control purposes.

I can tell you from personal experience, I dated one of the most beautiful cougars. We had this amazing chemistry; we were like bonnie and clyde. She was tall, very thin, cute, eager to please, and very sexual when she was in bed with me. She set my blood on fire. I really had feelings for this one. She never saw it though cause she's kind of a dope like that.

So anyway, she doesn’t remember this because she was drunk but we were in bed after sex and going out at night and she started to break down and cry.

She let her insecurity be known, that she knew she was getting older. I felt so bad for her. She was such a wonderful, amazing, BEAUTIFUL woman that any red blooded man in the world would want to be with and yet here she was, naked to the world, showing insecurity because worried about her looks and that she wouldn’t be able to keep me…

You know, no matter how beautiful a woman is, she's always concerned for her looks. She knows looks are the #1 priority to guys when it comes to evaluating them.

Ironically it wasn’t her looks that broke us up. It was that she couldn’t be vulnerable with me. And occasionally she did some really thoughtless or rude things. If she could have been vulnerable with me while she wasn't drunk...

And so we stopped seeing each other...

Anyway, I digress. Back to making fun of Sinn’s suggestion!

He also recommends you say “Sorry” and apologize to the woman after she mentions she’s 30+, as if she’s DYING or something.

Lastly he wants you to tell her at 30 years old, that she is "wise". What is she, a fucking kung-fu master? Ohhh wise Cougar Master, teach me the ways of Cougar poon!

Dude were you fucking high when you wrote this shit? I seriously couldn't make stuff up that was this funny.

Let this be a lesson. When you receive these mass email tips from Gurus, use your grey matter and don't just repeat things verbatim.

The sexual framing stuff is GREAT, but if you repeat the things I poked fun at you won't be laying the girl.

Here’s what he recommended…

You know what, I have been meaning to ask you, and I know this is one of those taboos... But how old are you?

(She answers)

It is all starting to make sense now...

And if she is over 30 you say:

Wow, really... I am sorry I totally wouldn't of guessed that. But one of the things with you is that you... and I mean I can tell just from talking to you, that you still have that youth in your eyes.

That but you're also wise, and you really miss that spontaneous get up and go attitude you once had. Like actually more than ever, and it is still there,

(pause as if trying to explain yourself better)

Like when you really are attracted to someone and feel comfortable, you're very direct in showing how you feel.

-Milkman

The Dreaded "Is that a pickup line?"

2010-04-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

So the girl you’re talking to asks if your opener or joke was a pickup line, rehearsed, etc…

Getting questions if your opener was canned is a sign of incongruence.

In poker the players have "tells" which let other players know what might really be going on with your hand. The same thing applies socially. Girls are socially savvy. Something sold you out and she was able to read it instantly.

Hesitation and not coming off smooth is one such tell, probably the biggest. Getting rid of it comes with experience and comfort. In other words, you must be comfortable and confident in approaching women you are attracted to. If you aren't comfortable with what you're doing, she'll be able to tell instantly and will surmise you're "up to something".

Work on eliminating “tells” and you won’t get comments like that any more. In the mean time, there are many ways to handle shit tests/comments from her of that nature... see some examples I pulled out of my ass below.

Her: Is that a pickup line?

Agree/Exaggerate: It’s totally a pickup line. I had to meet the girl with the (observation). Too cute. If you keep it up I’m so gonna have to hit on you!

Cocky: Tell me later when I'm ravishing you.

Funny: You can tell me later when I’m ravishing you…. for the best 5 seconds of your life. 6 if you’re lucky…

Frame Control: It's called an ice breaker, silly. But this reminds me of the one time when... *transition*

Talking about Fight Club: No but I heard about that crazy show on VH1, did you watch it?

You can combine any of this for good effect also: It’s called an ice breaker, silly. Wait, did you watch that crazy show on VH1 also?

Get creative man and have fun. Getting called out isn't a big deal unless you make it that way.

-Milkman

To DHV or not... that is the question

2010-03-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

A little self horn tooting is acceptable or even attractive. By extension, per Hypnotica's COC definitions:

· Passive: Considers others only
· Aggressive: Considers only oneself and not others
· Assertive: Considers both self and others prior to taking action

Someone who is passive would never take credit for their actions and is essentially a doormat. They’re the “nice guy” who fails to build attraction and interest.

Aggressive people tell a few too many “DHV” stories, they brag, and show off repeatedly. At the surface level they can appear very attractive or interesting, but when you look deeper past their “me me me” façade you see them as an incredibly insecure person who desperately needs the validation of others. They probably don’t even realize this. They repeatedly break rapport with others to the point that they can’t hold onto quality people in their life. Maybe they’ll wake up, one day…

Both can be a trap along your road of self growth.

Lastly you have the assertive person, who is basically a happy medium between the two extremes. Sure they might tell a couple stories here or there, it’s natural to be proud of oneself. But they have no motives in doing so and generally could care less if you like them or not. This person is truly secure and confident to the core and you know it by talking to them.

-Milkman

The Dreaded "I have a boyfriend"

2009-12-30T12:30:00.000-08:00

It’s happened to all of us – you start chatting up a hottie, it’s going well, and out of nowhere you’re informed by her or a friend that she has a boyfriend.

What’s going on here? I have a boyfriend is an autopilot response; it doesn’t actually mean she has a boyfriend. Her friend could also be misreading the situation and doesn’t know she really likes you. Here’s an example of how I handled it in one interaction when I was talking up a hottie and her weirdo friend interrupted to tell me her relationship status:

Obstacle Girl: She has a boyfriend

Me: I have a goldfish

Obstacle Girl: Why are you telling me you have a goldfish?

Me: Why would I care if either of you has a boyfriend? We’re at a bar being social.

Obstacle Girl: Stuff

Me: You’re feisty. Do we need to step outside? Because I’ve been drinking Milk and I can soo take you.

Obstacle Girl (laughing): ***Huge Buying Temp spike, she loves me now***

Of course later her chodey orbiter friend got jealous his girls were so interested in me so he performed a massive cockblock, but this is a great way to handle “I have a boyfriend” comments.

It’s actually really socially weird and assumptive of a girl to tell you her relationship status, so this pins that on her and then makes her forget the situation with humor. The main thing to do is to stand your ground instead of giving up or telling her “He’s a lucky man”.

It works best when you’re going indirect and haven’t yet shown interest other than striking up a conversation.

A good way I’ve handled a friend who has misread the situation is to tell her friend, “your friend and I kinda like each other. Is that okay?” Then it puts it on her for being an antisocial weirdo in front of her friend. Her choices are to back down or to confront her friend. Usually they back down. Girls are all about the fear and weilding of peer pressure and this hits them right in the girl-balls.

-Milkman

The dreaded "Who r u?" while texting...

2009-12-24T10:09:00.000-08:00

Holy shit it's been a while since I've made a post. I feel like my game has been jumping to incredible new levels and I haven't been putting it onto the site as a braindump. Haha, well, It's all up there somewhere. On to today's subject....

Recently, someone I know texted a girl they just met “what are you wearing?” at 6am on the weekend.

Her response was “who is this?”

Answering that question is a TRAP.

You can’t tell her “It’s Bob from the Marriott on Friday night!” because she’ll become disinterested and go back to being a phone flake. Face it, if she was interested enough to begin with she would have been sure to save your # in her phone in the first place.

Let’s examine the opener. It was really bad, lol. It’s part creepy (“what are you wearing”), and part value sucking because it opened her with a question and required HER to put the effort in. She doesn’t know who the hell you are so why would she invest and put value into the conversation?

Remember, in the beginning of any interaction you should be prepared to provide MOST the value to get the ball rolling. This is why some people like to stack, so if something isn’t working they can keep plowing (ie, providing value) until they hook.

If I were to open with something like “what are you wearing?” I’d need to provide value to combat the value-sucking factor. Using “What are you wearing? Cause I’m wearing a Sombrero!” would be far better.

Think of it like math; if Value sucking (the question) is a -1 to your value, adding a little joke at the end provides +1 value and they cancel each other out. Actually, if you put enough value in, you can end up with net positive value…

Gaming girls is like playing a game of chess. You have to think 10 steps ahead. If “How do I get her back to my place at the end of the night” is a possible problem you might face in the future, then you solve it in the present by starting the date at your pad. If getting her to drive to your place is a possible problem, you choose a date such that where you live is between her and the destination. That way it only makes sense she drives to your place, you drive the two of you to the date destination, and then you end up at your place at the end of the night. Get it? Think of a problem; come up with solution prevention ahead of time.

So the prevention to the “who is this?” question would have been to have saved your name in her phone as “Amazing John” when you met her in the first place.

Everywhere you are sloppy will eventually bite you on the arse. Remember always, think several steps ahead…

Back to the “who are you?” question. This situation is very salvageable. I normally have 3 responses with the "who are you" hoop.

1. Smartass.

“It's prince charming, like duh! ;p” (add value here)

2. Make her forget her hoop and turn it back on her by busting on her.

“Haha I'm wondering the same... you're saved in my phone as Donna the Dork! Who is this really?”

3. Be fake-mad (way over the top) to boost BT, and hint who you are to drive her curiousity.

“Sniff, I'm totally crushed you don't remember the most amazing night salsa dancing ever!”

“Sorry, I'm gonna have to divorce you now. It's not you, it's me. I want my CD's back, but you can have the dog. He craps everywhere anyway!”

Merry Christmas,
-Milkman

SLUT!

2009-10-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

And this, gentlemen, is exactly why we have things like ASD, and one of several reasons why it's hard for guys - especially AFCs - to get laid.

Men in society are DIRECTLY responsible for their own sorrows in that regard,because women are deathly afraid of judgment and will modify their behavior to avoid being labeled "SLUT".

Of course Grandma feeding her bad social programming about "the chaste good old days" is no help either. But reinforcing it? Stupid with a capital S. No wonder she didn't give it up to you, dummy.

When you judge a woman you are creating more work for yourself to get those panties off. Avoid judgments!

Sub communicate that you are non judgmental, that you are open, and respect people who go for what they want and don't give a shit what other people think. Another good one is people who live in the moment are cool, it allows her to tap into her impulsive side and just go with the flow. The flow being, having sex and doing things with or for you.

See my last post "Inspired" for a great example of how communicating values ("People who live in the moment are cool") and directly lead to a girl giving me a sloppy blowjob.

-Milkman

Inspired

2009-09-30T18:29:00.001-07:00

Kind of busy doing research but wanted to post this really quick before it escaped my mind. This one was inspired by Monkee and Bear. I met a new HB, a professional. Cute, blonde, fun. Here’s a text interaction:

HB: (sends directions to her place)

MM: Got it, thanks. Getting better at tennis… Kinda :D

HB: You can play tennis with me and that will make you feel a lot more skilled

MM: Uh oh, you know what they say about girls tennis skills… (:

HB: What? The worse they are the better they are at other things?

MM: Heard there’s a certain rhythm… like dancing, and it applies elsewhere ;)

HB: I dance really well

MM: I like a girl who can dance and be in the moment.

HB: How is work today?

She gave me her first BJ later that night. After the BJ I said that was really great, and she said “I guess I just need to be more in the moment”

What happened here?

The obvious portion was twisting the joke about being good at dancing=good at sex into being good at tennis=good at sex; a very adoptable joke. She qualified (a sign of attraction) that she can dance.

As a reward for qualifying, I told her what I liked. It wasn’t necessarily HER, but it was what I liked, so I was conveying standards – that I think people who live in the moment are cool - and that I think, or want her to be in the moment. I adopted this from something Monkee told me about how he answers shit tests a year ago.

This standard stuck with her and she backward rationalized it as her excuse to go into new territory (blowjob).

Convey these standards to visit the sexual shangri-la:

* You’re non-judgemental
* You respect people who live in the moment
* You respect people who go for what they want and don’t care what others think

-Milkman

Insta dates

2009-09-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

I like the insta date methodology… it's a lot less stress to my schedule. If Iset up dates I gotta set aside my Monday, Tuesday, etc and then my entire freaking week is full and I feel stressed. If I do last minute insta dates I can go with the flow and I'm a lot freer. Just keep in mind sometimes chicks won'tbe available and you'll end up alone that night (which is cool for self time, bro time, sarging, etc).

As an example, If I've got the #s of 20 girls in my phone I'll send out a non needy text like,"Sunday Funday… It's MoMo time! ;)". Maybe half (10) might not respond. Of those that respond, ½ (5) might not respond to my 2nd volley, but ½ (5) will hook and we'll talk. I'll find out logistics and suggest a meetup.. boom instant date that day.

If I get multiple girls who are available that day I decide based on who I want to see more. Maybe I've already fucked one girl so I don't care as much about seeing her. Or maybe she's REALLY FUCKING INCREDIBLE in bed, and YES I want to see her. Or maybe there's some new conquest, or one which I have had horrible timing with that I want to get a shot at. It all depends what you want.

If girls take too long to get back to you and you've already set something up with someone else, what do you think a girl would do to you - because girls do have multiple options? She'd see whomever she wanted to see more. So if you're already set up with girl 1 and like her more than the 2nd girl who replied late, too bad for her – set something up for another time. If however you don't like girl 1 as much as girl 2 who repliedlast minute, I'll sometimes tell them I got called into work and take a raincheck. The excuse has to make sense. Since I DO get called into work usually nobody gets pissed about it.

One last thing, I don't send out blind invitations. I only send the invite whenI know they're hooked and responding so I can get an answer right away.

Lastly, this methodology has some great side benefits like keeping the mystery in when she'll next see you, and avoiding framing as a "dating" relationship.

So you want to bang a virgin...

2009-08-04T14:46:00.000-07:00

There was a thread on a board I frequent about taking a woman's virginity. I liked some of the replies but had to add my own two cents, as follows:

There are a couple macro angles being worked in this thread.

1. She says she wants it to be special and you should respect her wishes. It's all about her.
2. Have sex with her anyway and here's how to game/trick her into it. It's all about you.

#1 is Passive, #2 is aggressive. Passive is all about the other person and you mean little in the equation. Examples: Guys who are a doormat and let people walk all over them. Aggressive people are the opposite in that they don't take other person's interests under consideration. Examples: Guys who are aggressive get laid, but things don't last because they push people away from them and can never make a real lasting connection. There is a third option.

Being Assertive means you consider both sides. Examples: When someone does something wrong, you let them know they crossed the line. This sub-communicates you have standards and a backbone – two VERY important attraction switches.

This chick is talking about sex which means she's thinking about it. When she says she wants it to be special you have to read between the lines. She means she doesn't want to be judged. You have to let her know you never judge without coming out and saying "I don't judge". Tell her a creative story. Also tell her how you admire someone who goes for something they want and doesn't care about what other people think. These all tie into things that girls think about when it comes to social programming. Let her know you're a guy who keeps secrets.

This chick is a virgin which means she's relatively inexperienced when it comes to guys. You don't need to run uber game on her because she's not desensitized to guys just yet. You should learn to make her comfortable with you and see you as a sexual teacher.

The best policy is to be assertive and tell her why you like her and you know you could make her first time very special. But tell her at the same time you just got out of a nasty break up and don't know if you're ready for a relationship just yet but you live in the moment. Let the decision be hers. Putting up a disqualification or a barrier like this is often very powerful. Girls who are attracted want to work to overcome barriers. If she's attracted she'll find a way.

Last night I was sick and had a 2nd date set up with this girl. I disqualified myself saying I was sick. I put up a barrier for her where she could not see me. We had not seen each other in a week and she was looking forward to seeing me, so she responded by trying to pass this barrier and said that we would just not be physically intimate. She brought me dinner, came over and we hung out. I was very hands off. But then it became a game. What could we do which didn't involve kissing? She started by rubbing my hands. I responded by kissing her arm or the back of her neck. It escalated and ended up with us in bed and my cock in her mouth. Hey, we never kissed.

What you're really afraid of here is if you tell her the truth, you'll lose the girl. That's not abundance, that's scarcity DEFINED.

By being assertive it takes the responsibility off you and puts it on her. Normally this is the OPPOSITE of what you would want to do, in that you take all responsibility so she doesn't have accountability. But since we are talking about her virginity here – and assuming you have any conscious whatsoever – making her comfortable with you and letting her make the decision would mean you don't have to lie your ass off.

-Milkman

Compliance based escalation

2009-05-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

A big problem I’ve noticed is: as guys, we really want that pussy. It makes us pull very hard. In general, pulling is bad when the girl isn’t ready. You sacrifice a long term win for a short term high. Instead of gaming them in a linear fashion of escalation I’ve switched to a more random method, based upon compliance. The more compliant and attentive a girl is, the more time she gets out of me – to a point, of course. When a girls attention and compliance is at a high, I let her pull ME.

I’m also thinking of women in terms of money. I make small investments over time which leads to a big payoff – getting laid (repeatedly) from a chick I really dig. Similarly I don’t put all my eggs in one basket either. One of my goals is a large STABLE I can hang with. I’m using this new method to move forward in increments over time, towards that goal. My ego – the need for a +1 – will not interfere with this goal because my abundance mentality overrides it.

Milkman's Brute

2009-05-20T02:47:00.000-07:00

http://milkmansd.mybrute.com

Fight my Brute.. it's fun ;)

Reader Mailbag 1

2009-05-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

Mailbag is where I'll choose a good email and answer reader questions. I like this one because I think we've all been in this situation! Today's comes from Gecko...

“I have been reading your blog for a month now, when I get time at work. I like what I read and I'd like to ask you for some help. You seem like you may be able to help.

I've been pursuing this chick since St Patty's Day. I met her at my local hang out. She is a friend of a friend and she seemed cute. So i bought her a few shots and started a little chit chat. She had plans to go watch some midget wrestling with said friend, so I said good night and we parted ways. I told our friend to put in a good word. He did. Good guy. I saw her again a few weeks later, after a hockey game, at the same watering hole. This time I really buttered her up. I pulled out all of my best material. She was like putty in my hands, dude. Unfortunately, my friend that I went to the game with (not the mutual friend) was a little too trashed. I was running between her and my dummy, cock blocking friend. He eventually won out. I couldn't even get her number because she seemed turned off by my buddy. Turns out, it wasn't a total failure.

The girl, ended up at the spot yet again this past Thursday. This time I was solo. I managed to man up enough to get her number. Sadly, during the week, I have a time limit. I wasn't able to be quite the charming motherfucker I normally am. I got the number anyway. My question to you is, when should I try to call her? You see, I'm a very busy man. Between the daily band practice, working overtime, my dogs and the upcoming Testament concert, next Monday, which I have to reserve my cash for, I'm not so sure I should I should try so set up a date so soon. Please advise.”

Gecko

Gecko,

Thanks for being a reader and for your submission. There's no official waiting period. It's been several days so I would get in contact TODAY to keep the interaction warm. Reopen her via text using callbackhumor. Or if you're certain she saved your # in her phone (you are supposed to make certain this happens when you get her #) and you had a strong interaction to the point you know she'll pick up if available, then call at a time when you think she's most likely to answer; maybe around 7 or 8 depending on her schedule.

The only thing waiting does is try to hide a guys excitement or neediness in a situation. If you've ever seen Good Luck Chuck where he goes psycho needy wearing the penguin outfit, or swingers where mike calledthat girl and left several messages - that's what I'm talking about. As long as you can come from a place of want, instead of need, you will be fine.

Waiting too long can turn interactions cold. I recommend getting in touch asap and if you're busy keep it warm with texts and anoccasional phone call until you can meet up. Exchanging myspace or facebooks is also great for this and let's her get a peek at what you're like.

Lastly don't focus on any one girl too much. You found one girl you like but come from a place of abundance mentality where there is one,there are more just around the corner. Keep meeting women and being successful.

Also, see this link on my blog for some more info...
http://milkmandeliversattraction.blogspot.com/2009/02/how-to-turning-that-number-into-date.html

Good luck let me know how it goes!

-Milkman

Backbone & sexual framing

2009-05-01T16:49:00.000-07:00

Continuing saga with the professional woman, she’s actually more than just a professional. (deleted). As you can imagine she’s all kinds of feisty and has an ultra strong frame.

Back story: I made a joke which went over her head. She didn’t get it and asked what I meant. I turned it around into an opportunity to cold read and frame.

MM: Oh my blonde. I made a joke silly

HBPro: Ok...ok! God Im an airhead! And u don’t have to agree!

MM: I don’t HAVE to… but doing so is so much fun ;)

HBPro: Ur terrible!

MM: Don’t blame me just cause I call u out cutie (:

-> Find a reason to call her out, and call out calling her out so you can have the following conversation. It subcoms many things including you understand women, which is an attraction switch

HBPro: Believe or not, I liked to be called on my shit! It shows u can deal w me

MM: I know u do why do u think I do it ;) most men don’t have a backbone these days. Not i

HBPro: I like a backbone! I find it sexy and admirable

MM: I like a girl who’s confident enough to go for what she wants and doesn’t give a shit what other people think

-> I’m sexually framing here. In person I would have done a self point

HBPro: And how do u know that’s what I like?
HBPro: That’s good! I like my men like that! A strong personality is important

MM: Oh I know a lot of things u like ;)

HBPro: like what

MM: u find confidence and take charge attitude attractive, u need a man strong enough to be like that even though you are strong yourself. And u test him with ur strength to see if he can take it

HBPro: I need a shower, want to join? <;)>
HBPro: Ok ur right! Have I told u that before or did u read it! I do get easily timid though

-> She sexually shit tested me and I ignore it. After that we got into deep rapport

Dance Floor is a Trap?

2009-04-25T10:09:00.001-07:00

How wrong the guy who said "the dance floor is a trap" was. Like anything, it's just another facet of game which can be used to your advantage. It provides an easy non verbal way to meet girls, initiate kino, and ramp attraction up quickly. The trick is transitioning away and glueing her to you so the interaction sticks…

I'm at Typhoon last night with a bunch of friends. I have a date with me also so I'm basically in "hook up my friends" mode. We bump into more people we know. We're chilling at first by some tables in a high traffic area pulling people in. A friend fearlessly goes in on 3 seated cute girls and locks himself in right away. I'm amusing myself opening girls by poking them in the belly and telling them they're committing a party foul by having no drink, or dancing. I've also given the cheers opener to the 2 new guys so they can work on being social.

Eventually we make our way to the dance floor. We're overlooking it and I'm getting eyes from this super hot asian girl. She AI's us and stands next to me grinding her friend. Forget what I opened her with but she's laughing, smiling, and then proceeds to tit punch me with a spearhand poke to the belly! I'm like WTF LOL, did you just tit punch me? Your tits are next! "Nooooo!". She's giggling. I try bringing my buddy in because he's so into Asians and this one is fucking cute. He doesn't step up so it's over. After I'm telling him we want to occupy the raised part of the stage when we dance because we'll get noticed. Attention whoring girls leave and we grab the opportunity to hop up.

I'm not an especially good dancer, but I know a move or two, I'm confident, and know how to have fun amusing myself. That, combined with the stage and powers of observation is all you need. We're up there shaking our shit and I'm watching for the signs. The investment pays off and the eyefuckings begin. These 21 year old girls are looking up at us having a great time strutting around and want to be a part of it. It's like a hybrid of social proof with jealousy plot, sans woman. We begin to get AI'd.

Girl #2 rolls by and I noticed she'd been eyefucking in Genome's and my direction. I poked him in the ribs or something to let him know what's up and gave the girl a smile. We both helped her up on stage and I told her "Have you met my best friend Genome? He's awesome!". She begins shit testing him immediately while they're dancing. He turns around to me and says she's accusing him of this or that. I think I said "you like guys with personality right? Well Genome has a BIG PERSONALITY!" They walk off hand in hand later… logistics were bad for him but he got her info.

Girl #3 rolls by. She's checking me out. She looks. She looks away. My date is 3 feet away. She looks. She looks away. Stop being so shy college girl. I smile and hold my hand out. She hops on stage and suddenly my cock is rubbing against her pussy as she grinds me. I go in close and breathe heavy on her neck. She does the same. My date is watching this go down, smiling and talking to one of our guys. She wasn't jealous. Awesome. Now I can turn it up. I turn her around so she's sandwiched between my buddy and I. She starts rubbing her ass on my now hard cock.

I stab her in the ass with it. Oh my.

My buddy finally begins to get it and take control. Shes into it with him. Then out of nowhere some guy approaches the stage and she pulls him up. My friend gives up the fight before it began and now he's outside the bubble. My friend is awesome but he lacks presence and confidence in himself. Incredibly surprising to me given everything he has going for him but we all have our inner demons.

His roommate later starts double teaming same girl with random guy, turns her towards him and starts making out with her in front of whoever that guy was. I'm waiting for the drama. It never comes. He was only an orbiter, and her ride. My friend's roomie then walks off with her (SMART) and later has his hands up her shirt. Dude is standing next to me in disbelief for 5 minutes. Welcome to the friend zone...

Girl #4 begins eyefucking me. I count at least 8 glances from her toward me. I stare her down and smile. She smiles back. She doesn't approach the stage yet but I have to piss bad so I hop down.

Security corners me with some bogus claim of inappropriate behavior.

They're chill but they toss me outside and aren't reasonable. Someone's butthurt. Wonder if we were with one of their girls or something. Fuckers.

Whatever. I hooked up a couple of my guys and had fun.

I'm a mad genius

2009-04-24T12:31:00.001-07:00

God I’m a genius, in my boredom I came up with the best generic warm text opener ever.

Good morning and welcome to txt by numbers! Press 1 to wish me good morning, 2 say you missed me, or 3 to check out my ass!

100% response rate, I’m getting lots of 2’s but mostly 3’s all within minutes.

It’s playful, but it works because it plays into plausible deniability and baits them to respond in a manner which frames I’m the prize and she’s missed me or finds me attractive.

How I got a flake to buy me lunch

2009-04-19T13:24:00.000-07:00

Txt game can be really deep. Here's how I turned a flake into buying me lunchwith a little bit of finesse. Mostly I just held my value, had standards, minifreezeouts, did a little invalidation/DQ. That's all it takes… validation is oneof the PRIMARY motivators for womens' behaviors.

Background: We had set up a lunch date since she works in the area but lives toofar for my tastes. Obviously I know no escalation will happen at lunch but Iknew it'd be an easy way to ramp up comfort so I could throw the hoop out therefor her to roll down to my place in the evening some time. She showed high interest but flaked on me 3 times. Once or twice I can understand but the 3rdtime I lost interest. I'm a busy man and my time is valuable. The last thing Ireceived from her was:

HBFlake: "Hey something came up I can't make today, I'll call you"

She never called, so I lost her number. Two weeks passed…

I received a text from an unknown # telling me she was "sick". I knew it was her from clues in the msg. It seems innocuous and a"Get better soon" might have seemed the socially appropriate reply, but I saw it for what it was: Validation seeking on her part. She knew she fucked up and wanted to know if I would still put in an effort or respond to her. No, I won't. Not replying as a PUSH was the correct decision. Another week passed and I received this text from an unknown number:

HBunknown: "Hi How are you?"

I decided to go for another big PUSH. This person wasn't in contact enough to besaved in my phone. I figured they would get pissed at the question and eithernot txt back or it would hook.

MM: "Who is this?"
HBFlake: "HBFlake"
MM: "It's so awesome outside, I just got back from surfing Del Mar"

I intentionally left this out there with no rapport building, not asking her how she's been or anything. She could have stopped replying because I gave her nothing to work with. All part of the plan so she starts trying to win me over.

HBFlake: "Awesome I am out swimming and sunning myself in Oceanside, dogsitting"

She continued the conversation – rapport seeking on a woman is one of thelargest IOIs.

MM: "Sounds fun, but Oceanside? You're so far, you'll have to find yourself downhere more often"

Kind of a half disqualification of her on my part. I really don't have time toput up with LD chicks, especially if they are gonna flake.

HBFlake: "Yeah I know…. So lunch next week?"

MM: "Well we've tried 3 times, I think you owe me lunch now mrs cornflake (:"

First of all, it's important not to sound like you're butthurt over anything she's done because reactivity conveys neediness. At the same time you need to convey you are a man of STANDARDS and draw boundaries for her. Girls like a guy with a backbone. Balancing between the two can be really tricky as I found outlast night.

So I threw this out there, along with a hoop. I'm not going to be easy for her at this point after all these flakes. She's gonna have to earn me back. I'm pushing her pretty hard here, and it's completely intentional. The solution forher flaking is for her to chase and then earn me.

HBFlake: "Sure my treat, how about (venue) on (weekday).. though I'm more of aCheerio"

Some more junk after that but basically I turned this flake into chasing me andwanting to buy me lunch. The professional girl from a few wks back flaked on ourfollowup afternoon date and feels bad so she's buying me a sushi dinner.

To quote a song in my favorite movie: "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta". Now, where's that Fax Machine? PC Load Letter... what the fuck is that?!

-MM

Project Mission Beach

2009-03-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

Criteria:

Walking distance to decent surf break
Walking (stumbling) distance to target rich area to build a large social circle and for pulling.

Mission beach fits the bill with SMJ as a surf location, plus tons of tourists and people on the boardwalk.

Cons: Crime, traffic, annoying college kids.

Solana Beach or cardiff might also be cool - way cooler, for surf locations - but way worse as far as targets.

Downtown might be way cool for targets and pulling, but no access to anything but shitty surf breaks after a 20 minute ride.

I plan on getting a townhome in the future to make this a reality.

Tip of the day: Party on a Shoestring Budget

2009-03-17T18:33:00.000-07:00

Let’s face it, as long as I have known them most PUA are a bunch of cheap ass motherfuckers – myself included! But not to fret, with the economy the way it is, frugal is the new chic. Forged from a layoff, honed from dating multiple women, and perfected through a recession I bring you Milkman’s tips to livin’ large on a shoestring budget. Here’s how to party and get punani, for less!

Frequent dives and places with good priced happy hours. You can’t go wrong with a $3 beer, or $4 you call it! Take advantage of hosted bars.

Drink before you go out. Bring a container and chug it in the car to get your vibe going.

BYOB. The best investment I ever made was to buy a couple bottles of that 5 hour energy shit, and then fill it with vodka purchased from Costco. I save $30+ nightly doing this. Then I’ll buy a diet coke or sugarfree redbull, mix in my own alcohol, and be set for the night! If I run out, light domestic beers are usually cheap. My friends are constantly amazed how I can party in the gaslamp and spend $10 or 20 a night and have an AWESOME time.

Don’t pay for parking lots! Learn the lay of the land and where you can park for cheap. Generally yellow, green, and meters go free after 6pm. You might have to walk a couple extra blocks, but the exercise will do you good. Plus it’ll give you time to sober up.

Make friends with bouncers and promoters! They’ll help you get in places, for less. Get informed to what’s going on!

If you take a date out, make her quality drinks at your place. That way she rolls out buzzed and it saves you cash at the venue.

$ave by using different grades of vodka or alcohol for each application. If I’m mixing with Redbull or Diet Coke, that cheapo Ralphs shit hits the ticket. If I’m mixing something nicer like a Cosmo or Godiva martini I might use a house vodka like Skyy. If it’s a really special girl or drink I might bust out the Gray Goose or Roberto Cavalli.

Shop for your liquor at Costco or any other bulk discounter. It’s worth it.

When traveling, stay in the same room with multiple people. Also, evaluate travel time and cost between discount airfare and driving. I was able to spend 3 days in Vegas for New Years 09 and only spend $180 including everything! Travel, lodging, food, cover, more drinks than I could handle – all included for 60 bones a day.

Stop drinking during weeknights. It’s calories and slows your metabolism anyway, save it for the weekend.

Selectively choose your bottle service venue. Some places can run $500+ per bottle. Fuck them! There are other fun places around SD to get a bottle for $175. It sounds like a lot, but if you are gonna blow $40+ a night anyway a bottle split 5 way with friends makes a LOT of sense. Plus you get the bonuses of a table, social proof, mixers, etc. Confidential and Aero Lounge both offer bottles of Skyy for around $175. Go on a weekend night for maximum traffic. When the bottle runs dry fill it with seltzer water or tonic to keep the table so you don't need to buy another bottle, LOL. And if chicks want drinks, give them mixer and splash a lil vodka on top.

-MM

Making your move

2009-03-02T07:54:00.001-08:00

I had a pretty good weekend, I was out with mLTRs but the 3rd one flaked on Sunday for legit reasons. It kinda made me rethink things with her, she’s not that great a fit for me. I like her and she’s very sexy, but I may not be calling her back.

Anyway the highlight of my weekend was passing my Orange belt test. It was really satisfying to have put in so much work and then finally earn it. I’m really digging Karate, and it’s interesting how some of it’s principles apply to pickup.

So at my low belt level, one of the principles being taught is follow up. You don’t just block and punch/kick one time. You see your opening, and you GO FOR IT. In pickup, this’d be analogous to being able to pull the trigger with a girl. I know a number of guys who really have problems with this issue. Sometimes the issue is sexual anxiety. Other times it’s due to social programming. If this describes you, just learn to recognize certain openings and escalate with your woman.
-MM

Mixed Sets and What to do if your girlfriend gets hit on

2009-02-26T12:04:00.000-08:00

Two sides of the coin...

So you’re out and talking to a woman who seems to be into you, but suddenly an aggro guy tells you “I’m her boyfriend”. Yet the girl keeps talking… What do you do? There are many reasons why a woman might entertain you in the presence of her boyfriend and they don’t all necessarily mean she’s into you…

She wants to make him Jealous
She’s not “trained”
She’s drunk and unaware of her actions
She’s looking to trade up
She’s bored

Etc.

Keep in mind "I'm her boyfriend" is guy-code for "I know what you're doing, get lost". In those situations I tend to disqualify myself by saying I have a girlfriend, and then running a little rapport with the both of them. Presto, insta wings and future hangout partners. Or you could keep going, and possibly get in a retarded fight when there are tons of other girls nearby who aren't taken.

I wouldn’t be afraid to approach mixed sets, but at the same time there’s a fine line between finding out logistics of “how everyone knows each other”, and intentionally trying to poach a dude’s girl in front of him. If you pursue the latter course of action, anything which happens is on your head.

My girl is being hit on - Help!

I go out with my girls often. Some are trained better than others, but here’s some of the things I’ve done when my girl is being hit on.

AMOG
Perform human sacrifice (Introduce someone to the annoying guy and move girl)
Not acknowledge guy and move the girl
Interrupt strongly to take over the conversation and tell the guy “Hey nice meeting you, we have to go now”
Interrupt strongly and speak only to the girl “Hey, it’s your turn..” or “I just saw the most AMAZING thing I have to show you! Let’s go”, then move her.
If the guy isn’t that great, ditch her so she gets bored of him and comes looking for you.
Start talking to girls who are attracted to me in front of my girl.
Have a wing come in and talk to the guy, move the girl.

Etc.

I’ve only needed to AMOG once in 2 years, so there are plenty of other things you can do without resorting to something which may possibly get ugly.

-MM

Personal Development: Nutrition

2009-02-17T13:17:00.000-08:00

Ok guys, part of getting better with women overall means pushing to better yourself and developing new goals. Some of those goals for me have been: better nutrition, better fitness, and continuing to learn to cook healthy meals.

With that in mind here are some things I’ve done lately which are leading to success in some of these areas for me. Since beginning I feel like I have more energy, and my body is expelling less waste. In other words, it's using more of what I give it because it's better for me:

I’m eating 4-5 smaller meals every day to keep my metabolism going.
I am a calorie NAZI; I watch everything I eat and read labels religiously.
I’ve cut down on cheeses, bad fats, sugars, and processed foods such as white bread, cookies, or other shitty snack foods. Instead I eat things like Bananas or 80 calorie yogurt.
I cut down on alcohol to weekends only. Alcohol is a double whammy because it both slows your metabolism plus even a shot (1oz) of Grey Goose has 69 calories.
I eat whole wheat or brown rice products, high in fiber, protein, low in fats/sugars.
I cook my own meals so I have more control over what goes in my body.
If by some retarded act I’m a lazy ass and don’t make my lunch, I search online for healthier, lower calorie fast food alternatives.
I’m reading Eat THIS, not THAT!
Cut down on "late night snacks" (unfortunately I still get the munchies after partying on Fridays and Saturdays)

Fast Food Possibilities.
Face it, fast food sucks, but some of it is somehow less bad for you than others. If you fuck up and forget to make lunch you can find fast food alternatives which are semi acceptable.Here’s some of the fast food things I've found in my area…

Carl’s Jr. Grilled BBQ Chicken Sandwich – 360 calories!
Carl’s Jr. Side salad with the low fat basalmic dressing – (125 calories)
Subway chicken breast sandwich on whole wheat, with tons of veggies, mustard, pepper, but NO MAYO OR CHEESE – 600 calories for a footlong (that’s two 300 calorie meals for 5 bucks).
Greek Salad with chicken breast from a local restaurant – few hundred calories.
Togo’s turkey and avocado – 700 calories, but it’s 2 meals.
Jack in the Box chicken fajita pita – 300 calories.

As you can see your biggest enemies are the breads, sauces, and cheeses. Watch what you eat in these areas and you can really cut down.

Here are a couple super easy meals you can make yourself at home which are super low calorie, and nutritious.

Chicken Pitas (inspired by Jack in the Crack)

Sarah Lee whole wheat pitas, 80 cal for 2 (or something better if you find it)
Favorite cheese shreddings
Defrosted/Thawed chicken breast
Red Onion strips
Greens: Lettuce, cilantro, tomato
Spices: Black pepper, garlic salt
Pace medium salsa (I freaking LOVE salsa, its so low cal and full of flavor)

Directions:
Heat a small pan with virgin olive oil on medium. While it’s warming, chop the raw chicken up and toss it plus the red onion strips into the pan. Season appropriately with spices. While it’s cooking, wash and chop up your lettuce, tomato, and cilantro. Cilantro is strong so don’t use much. When everything is chopped and the chicken is done, throw it and the greens plus salsa into a whole wheat pita and top with salsa. Go EASY on the cheese, or don’t use it at all. Fucking delicious, easy, and only a couple hundred calories.

Veggie n Chicken stir fry (“Damn Mongoreans, you break down my Shitty wall!” – South Park)

Defrosted/Thawed chicken breast
Olive oil (virgin)
Spices: Black pepper, Garlic Salt
Chinese Chili Sauce (HOT)
Soy or your favorite teriyaki (I like honey teriyaki, but look at the labels and caloric intake)
Veggies (your choice): Water chestnut, bean sprouts, carrot dollars, asparagus, cabbage, broccoli, yellow squash, red onion, anything you might like.

Directions:
Heat the pan at medium with just enough oil inside to coat the bottom lightly. While it’s heating, cut your veggies to bite size. The chicken will take longer to cook so chop up the raw chicken and throw it into the pan and start cooking. Throw some spices on the chicken and keep stirring. When the chicken is ¾ done, throw in the veggies. Now spice everything up and coat with one or two teaspoons of the Chinese chili sauce, depending how spicy you like it. Throw in your favorite Soy or Teriyaki sauce. Now stir everything around well so the spices and sauce are evenly mixed! Cook until it’s done. Yummtastic, and again it’s protein and veggies so it’s good for ya!

Whole Wheat Spaghetti and Chicken Breast

Frozen chicken breast (ralphs has an inexpensive variety which comes in a re sealable freezer bag)
Spices: Garlic Salt, pepper
Whole Wheat or Brown Rice pasta
Prego or your favorite spaghetti sauce (watch calories) I got a hruge jug from Costco
Parmesean cheese

Directions:
Bake the chicken breast in the oven per directions. Around half way through, pepper and lightly garlic salt the top, and then flip it over and do same to bottom. While it finishes cooking, start your spaghetti. The meat and spaghetti should be done around the same time. Drain, mix in your favorite sauce, and top with chopped baked chicken breast for protein. Lightly sprinkle parmesean cheese. Enjoy.

-MM.

Back to Basics; LMR and being the Prize

2009-02-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

So I was hot and heavy with this new cutie, and then something happened which hasn't in a very long time! Although her beautiful boobies were deliciously molesting my very helpless lips, she wouldn't let me remove her pants or finger her. In retrospect it was totally my fault. To be honest my escalations are so smooth I never get ASD or LMR any more so I left out some very simple things!

The next morning it had gotten worse!

She'd sent me a long e-mail, telling me things like she wanted to “wait until she knew it was special”, she “didn’t like dirty talk”, and “what do I think?” As I read that email, only one word came to mind: TRAP.

I could neither ignore or answer that email candidly; both would cause problems. Instead, I replied something to the effect of “Bummer! I knew I should have thrown more midgets into the fantasy! About the rest, all my best relationships have started off most passionately. The rest, well, maybe I’ll tell you about some time”. And then I CHANGED THE SUBJECT!

What I told her was actually true; every time a chick has tried to put the breaks on us getting to know each other, it's totally wrecked things. It's always best when things just flow. She's a little sexually inexperienced so I was determined not to let her fears and social programming wreck things. As the guy you gotta step up and lead.

The next time she was over I set a script flipping trap for her. I baited by getting her worked up and horny. Her breathing became heavy as she was grinding into me, then I sprung it by giving her LMR. “Babe…” “Yes?” “No sex tonight... but I will make you feel good”. “Ok”. Later, we were both tired and fell asleep.

In the morning, the barriers were completely gone. Her jammies came off and as I was going down on her, she said “what about you?” I interpreted this as "time to get a condom". Then, as the song goes... I took her to funky town.

After we were through, we were having a discussion about how vigorous sex can burn up to 400 calories an hour. She knows I’m trying to get in better shape and mentioned we’ll have to have more fun to burn more calories. Now she’s the one chasing me because I'm the prize.

My sinsei said something which applies here. He reminded me once that these traditions were handed down through hundreds of generations and it's up to me to remember and pass them on. I apply this to my skills with women in that sometimes our sticking points are not because we lack the knowledge to go forward, but because we have forgotten where we have been.

-MM.

Relationship Management 1: Chase Mode

2009-02-16T16:37:00.000-08:00

Score! You James Bond motherfucker, you just made out with or even got laid from a total hottie! But how into you is she? How long might this last? What can you expect next? She kissed you so she’s gotta dig you, right? There’s a magnitude of difference in the amount a girl likes you between one you have to lead and “take” a kiss from, and one who craves you and longs to be part of your reality. Do you want to be the guy who has to chase the girl and work her up to sex every time, or the guy who the girl goes after without any prompting from you because you’re the prize and you inspire desire in her?

Both guys are getting laid… but why should you care? You shot your wad, isn’t that what counts? I’d answer that depends on where you set your sights, and what your goals are. If you’re okay with flying coach, cool have fun. But if you want a better experience where the girl treats you like a king, you may want to listen up. Think about it… if you only knew what to look for to tell how into you a woman was, you’d have a general idea how “healthy’ the relationship was. A spider sense! And when something changes for the worse, you can change and put things back in the right motion. Being the guy – the LEADER - means being informed, and knowing what to do. This is part of relationship management…

We all know the signs of a girl that isn’t that into you. Maybe she doesn’t respond to your calls or texts that well (or at all). Perhaps you have to grab for her hand, or be the one to go for the hug every time you’re out. You might even have to always kiss her, or do tons of work to “get her in the mood”. She’s accepting your lead (for now!) but you get this strange feeling she doesn’t seem that into you.

So how do you tell when a girl is truly into you? When I meet a girl the first time I might look for IOIs to provide feedback and tell me how I’m doing. With this knowledge I escalate properly. But what about after you’ve already met her, and the decision has been made she wants to get to know you? After the initial meet, I look for Chase Mode Indicators (CMIs). CMIs take into account such factors as attraction, comfort, familiarity, happiness, state, neediness, being the prize, and validation. Avoid mistaking CMIs for neediness; they’re not the same. One girl wants you, the other girl needs you. Generally multiple types of CMIs will be displayed during the duration for which she’s most strongly into you. Some are her way of saying “I miss you, and I’m thinking of you”. Other, in person ones are her unconscious way of stating she wants more of you. Here’s a few I’ve experienced:

When side by side, you accidentally brush and she grabs your hand.
She cleans or does the dishes at your place without being prompted.
She’s the first to text you on any given day because she wants to see how you’re doing.
She sends you more texts than you send her, or calls you more than you call her.
You lean back in bed or on a couch and she curls up, resting her legs or head on you.
When you’re away, she goes through less seen portions of your Myspace profile such as your blog, or older photos because she wants to find out more about you.
She leaves you comments on your Myspace/Facebook.
She brings you small tokens of her affection, such as a towel because you’re a surfer, an apron because you love to grill or enchiladas because you love Mexican food.
She does things for you, like cooking your favorite meal.
She seeks your attention, in a good way.
She builds an altar with 666 blood red candles, pictures, and locks of your hair (just kidding – this is the girl who is needy).

When it comes to CMIs, watch for the actions and avoid listening to the words. I know girls who are feisty and give me hell, but their subconscious actions betray they are deeply into me. Keep an eye open so you can determine which girls are _truly_ into you, and those which merely bought into your frame and are letting you lead. In the future I’ll post some tips on putting a woman into chase mode.

-Milkman

Cool stuff I've read lately

2009-02-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

Some cool things I’ve read lately…

Robbo put up a funny flirtatious email he sent a girl. I liked it.
http://robbokramer.blogspot.com/2009/01/how-to-flirt-via-email.html

Kelly put up a great spot about breaking girls out of autopilot and being playful.
http://www.windowshoppingforwomen.com/blog.php

David Wygant posted a great article about what to do when you meet a great woman, who happens to have a boyfriend. Note the way this is handled is totally different from when one of the girls you’re already seeing suddenly finds a provider boyfriend because you were too unobtainable (more on that later)…
http://pickuppodcast.com/blogs/pickuppodcast/archive/2009/01/07/she-has-a-boyfriend-who-cares.aspx

How to: Turning that number into a date!

2009-02-09T15:03:00.001-08:00

How many times have you met a cool girl, tried to follow up with her, and she was non responsive? What the hell happened? Or maybe, she was totally into you after you called her, but was a super flake and you couldn’t get her to go on a date. What’s a guy to do? Work on your reopening skillset… that’s how. A solid reopening skillset can give you the opportunity to turn even the softest closes into dates, lays, LTRs, and more.

In the movie Swingers, Trent gave Mike the advice to wait 3 days or even 6 to call a girl so he didn’t scare her off. The waiting “x” days rule is ok, but it’s really for those who don’t understand things the way the community does. We know with the right vibe, you can contact a girl right away.

FIRST CONTACT.

So you have this hottie’s number burning a hole in your cell phone… holy shit, suddenly it's the wrong kind of weenie roast. So when and how do you reopen her? With a few exceptions, I prefer to send a text in the early afternoon the day after, around 1pm. Avoid sending it too early when she’s still hung over, needs to get her coffee, or is being lazy curled up in her PJs. Even if she enjoys your text and means to respond, she may ADD out and forget to get back to you.

Regarding the actual message, I’ve found the right combination involves C/F, a challenge/qualification, or callback humor along with something which is designed to elicit a response. Remember, your goal here is to GRAB ATTENTION, ELICIT a reply, and build RESPONSE COMPLIANCE (and compliance in general). Some simple re-openers might look like this…

Hi NAME, do u speak text? –Milkman
Hi NAME, are u textually active? ;) -Milkman

But even better… get creative! CHALLENGE her! Be cocky (but not a DICK)

NICKNAME, you left the party so soon… what happened, big day at the library today? :p By the way, do u speak text? –Milkman
NICKNAME! Wow I don’t think I’ve ever seen a skinny girl bogart so many of my nachos before. Am I gonna have to send Sally Struthers to save you? :p BTW, r u textually active? –Milkman

Breaking these down in how they work, you first grab her attention by using her name (or a nickname you gave her). Next, you pump attraction/buying temperature with a little bit of banter, c/f, a challenge, or callback humor. Lastly you end it with a response elicitor- something designed to evoke a reply. I normally prefer to make STATEMENTS over questions like “do you speak text”, but since we put a little attraction/BT into the kitty we can make a small withdrawal here. Lastly, unless I saved my name in her phone I’ll sign my first text with my name. Either that or you can play stupid little “Who is this” frame games, and waste your time in doing so. :p

BEGIN ESCALATION.

Mission accomplished… she responded. Now, branch out and banter while showing as much value and mystery as you can to bait and interest her. So you’re running the tightest text game ever with this cutie; she’s being feisty, playful, throwing you IOIs, and shooting replies off to you quickly. Feels great huh? Awesome, well your job ain’t done yet, bucko. While all this is going on it’s telling me she’s at the height of her response compliance, so I’ll take this opportunity to CALL HER because she’s most liable to answer!

THE FIRST PHONE CALL.

I’ll have first conversations of anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes, keeping in mind my job as the dude is not to entertain her on the phone all day but to secure a meet up with her. I might do a pre-FTL (False Time Constraint) and drop that I’m meeting a friend to go surfing soon, or some other excuse. “Hey! What are you up to ….. My friend is on the way over, we’re going surfing soon…. But real quick.. blah blah. Girls like barriers; they keep them in line and give them something to work for. Anyway, during our conversation, I’ll banter, display values, get them to laugh, and have a fun time. Building comfort and trust in this step is vital to just how much of a hoop you can give them when it comes to meet up time. Every step builds upon the prior one.

MAKING THE DATE.

When it comes time to make the actual plans, here’s how it often goes down for me:

Milkman: You know, you’re feisty and kind of fun. We should get together some time.
Girl: Kind of fun? KIND OF? I’m a LOT of fun! Yeah, we should get together some time.. so you can see how fun I am! (Or, if she’s super into you she’ll suggest logistics right here)
Milkman: How about Tuesday, or do you know if Thursday is better for you?
Girl: I have extreme crocheting class on Tuesdays, so let’s do Thursday. What are we doing? (Note: When girls ask “what are we doing”, they really mean: “What should I wear?”)
Milkman: It’s a surprise so I can’t tell, but I can promise its right up your alley! Just dress in something cutesy-comfy and be over at my place at 7:30. Do you have a pen?
Girl: I’ll get one. What’s the address?
Milkman: (Tell her address and directions). Show up with an appetite, I’ll be making a gourmet meal before we go out. By the way, do you like the crusts on or off your Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches?
Girl: Ha ha, you better make me more than peanut butter and jelly, but I’m a “crust on” kind of girl. Blah blah..
Milkman: Oh shit! My buddy is here so I have to scoot… but it was nice talking to you and we’ll see each other Thursday!”
Girl: I can’t wait.
Milkman: I know. ;)

Ok, that last one was a little over the top but I had to do it. Anyway, notice the progression here; I’m letting logistics come out slowly. It’s important not to give too much info too fast or she may say no to the meet up based solely on the logistics. Girls do have lives also, when they’re not pining away for me that is. ;) I concentrate on the biggest things first, like first that the two of you should go out. Then I choose a day, followed by a time. As each thing is confirmed I move on. You should be VERY SPECIFIC when it comes to the when, and where of the date. You can be looser in other areas like what you’re doing, it’ll give you flexibility and you can change things around as the situation evolves. By the way, I never call it a date. It puts too much pressure on the situation. Let her be the one to call it the D-Word. You should call it a meet, a hang out, etc.

AFTER THE CALL.

It’s fine to go a couple days and contact her via text to keep things fresh, or to respond to her if she opens you. The day of, she may send you a “we still on for tonight?” or you may send her a “Ready to have some fun tonight?” (Which you will append after a suitably appropriate attraction/BT spike, of course!)

Enjoy… let’s hear some of your experiences!

-Milkman

~ Milk Curdles, First Edition ~

2009-02-05T14:59:00.000-08:00

Milk Curdles are random nuggets of wisdom from Milkman regarding women. They may be meet or lay oriented, how to handle a girlfriend or LTR, or anything else... in no particular order.

Want to increase your compliance/response rate when texting? Pump attraction/BT as a deposit whenever you make a withdrawl. Check out the differences between these two texts: “What’s up? How are you doing? Hey what’s your facebook?” which will both bore and annoy the shit out of someone and “You rode your bike into a cactus? And I thought I was the blondest brunette I know! But before I forget, shoot me your facebook email address..” which will grab their attention, build a little attraction, and have a higher response rate. More on text game another time...

The 3 second rule is useful for more than just to get over AA. There’s an unspoken social rule that when you walk into a space you can immediately open those who give you eye contact with no pretenses. This applies to rooms, elevators, near the bar, on a crosswalk. Open those who notice you. If you wait, it’ll be more awkward. Once you open, be prepared to transition fast.

Using logistics, you can overcome all sorts of obstacles you may encounter with women. Think ahead to roadblocks, like a chess game, and outmaneuver them before they happen. I call this "logistics game", and haven't heard of anyone else doing it.

How to get her back to your place after the date? Start the date there so it's natural to return.
What if I don't think she'll come over on the first date? Utilize the geography and roads to your advantage; if on a map A is her, B is you, and C is the destination, choose a destination venue which places you between the venue and where she lives. That way it's only natural she drives over to your place. Visually it would look like this: A>B>C. (A) she travels to your place (B), and you drive the two of you to venue (C).
How do I get her to stay in her bathing suit when we get out of the pool/hot tub if I don't think she's ready to get naked? Have robes ready for the 2 of you and put it on her when you come back inside. She'll be less inclined to change back into cockblocking street clothes. Physically escalate fast.... she'll be looking to change soon.

A girl I was seeing/sleeping with now has "a boyfriend". How do I handle it? When girls get a boyfriend, one of two things happen. They either tell you, or they completely up and vanish and won't answer any of your attempts to contact them. They know you're a threat to their new dude. They know they'll go weak when they see you, so they want to cut it off with you to prevent that. Instead of getting pissed that you can't have sex or see her any more, think about it. It's actually a compliment in disguise. Depending on circumstances if she tells me about him, I tell her a boyfriend destroyer along the lines of "Cool, he sounds like a great guy! I hope it works out for you and he returns the investment you're making in him. Anyway, I gotta hop in the water.. the waves are up!". And then I do my own vanishing act. Regardless if she tells you or just vanishes, you should cut her off with no communication. No "Hey all.." texts, no Myspace comments, no calls, no e-vites, no phone calls, no random e-mails with a topic you think she'd dig, no tweets, NOTHING. She's got to miss you, wonder what you're up to, see the comments of other girls flirting with you on your Facebook, etc. Whenever she realizes the dude she hooked up with isn't as good with you, she'll start contacting you. But the game's not over. Let her contact you at least twice before you reply. Make her chase you. And when you do reply, act like nothing happened. This isn't the only way to handle the situation, but it's a damn effective one. More on Girl/LTR management later.

-Another Special Delivery from Milkman.

How to: The Dinner Date

2009-02-05T09:21:00.000-08:00

As the first of many how to articles, here’s one on my favorite type of date: the Dinner date. Dinner dates can be super effective when done right, and are usually a 1st or 2nd date activity for me. I probably end up having sex with around 90% of girls who go on dates with me, and it happens on date 1, 2, or 3. Only once did it take 4 dates and she was a model. Go figure she was the tough cookie. Let’s talk about some of what a dinner date brings to the table…

Tasking a girl to bring something like wine increases her investment.
Being a guy that can whip up great food or drinks displays great DHVs.
Getting her involved in the making of dinner, like having her chop veggies also increases her investment and helps foster an “our world” experience.
With her at your place you may have souvenirs or accomplishments which are easy to talk about from a comfort/attraction standpoint.
It’s an easy way to get her to your place with plausible deniability, and you’ll have the home court advantage.
She’ll be more comfortable on future visits.

I’ll have her show up around 7 with some wine. We bounce to the grocery store to grab a few things (the clerks give me these looks because I’m always bringing hot women in). When we return I make us drinks and then we sit down in front of my wide screen which is hooked up to the computer, and I start showing her funny videos, playing music, and telling her stories about my Myspace pictures. By now she’s totally loosened up and relaxed, and there’s anywhere from light to heavy kino. Often they’ll just put their legs up on mine. When they’re this comfortable and touchy sometimes the first makeout and lay happens right then.

If it doesn’t, I’ll do a takeaway by getting up to cook dinner right as she’s super comfortable with me. She’ll follow me into the kitchen (you always want to set a frame so she’s chasing you and vying for your attention). I involve her by telling her to chop things up, watch the timer, pour me a drink, etc. Afterwards we sit down, eat, hang out a little more and again we have kino, makeout, or sex opportunity.

Then it’s time to bounce to the venue. I like high energy venus to keep state and attraction high. My favorite is Karaoke because of the participation factor, energy, social proof, more DHVs, and just plain fun. When we return, there’s almost always make out, groping, grinding, and then sex.

Activities for dates at home: Check out Myspace/Facebook, picture albums, tell stories about things she notices in your place, play music and dance, teach her Karate moves, do Kokology puzzles, and more. Telling stories about pictures or things in your place is awesome because it works from a DHV, attraction, and comfort standpoint simultaneously. Generally anything which keeps the mood fun, interesting, flirty, conveys good things about you, or involves touching is a winner. I’m not a fan of movies; they’re dead time you could have spent furthering the interaction. If you use a movie to isolate to the bedroom… cool. Normally I just lead them there by the hand when it’s time, with no pretenses.

Let’s hear some of your favorite date strategies in the comments below.

-Milkman.

F1RST!

2009-02-04T16:40:00.000-08:00

Welcome and thanks for visiting my blog on meeting, attracting, dating, and seducing quality women. I'm doing this blog for 2 reasons. First, to help other guys out. And second, to help me archive my thoughts since I'm pretty much the blondest brunette you'll meet.

What I am not: I'm not a pick-up artist.
What I am: I'm more of a social guy who just likes to have fun.

If I had to describe my style, it'd be "inside-out".

What I mean by inside-out is that you get better with women by working on what you can't see: Yourself. Work on outer game as well, but inner is the emphasis. Lots of guys want to know "lines" to tell women to get them in bed. Sometimes they even work. Personally, I prefer to attract women based on me - my personality, rather than bullshit. That doesn't mean I don't employ "routines"; in it's vaguest sense, if you tell a harrowing story over and over you're doing a routine. It's just a routine about you. Coincidentally, those are also the best because they really let her connect with you.

Let's start with my "Jumpstart to Attracting Women", a few of the best tips I can give someone who's just beginning their journey. I'll be updating and modifying my posts, so revisit and refresh often. You'll often find revitalized enhancements.

-Milkman

Milkman's Top 5 Tips to Getting Better With Women:

1. Let's get Physical!
I won't tell you that fat boring slobs can't get good with women, they absolutely can. Hell I'm out of shape myself. They start out with a mark against them though, visually from across the room you automatically won't appeal as much to her so you really need to work overtime in the other departments. To increase your chances, start living a more active lifestyle and get in shape. Pick up new, fun physical hobbies like Surfing, Karate, Snowboarding, Biking, Rock Climbing, or join the gym.

2. Revitalize your image!
Get a cool haircut, pick up some sharp clothes, and fine tune your personal hygene. When it comes to a haircut, find a stylist you like and ask them for something edgy which can still fit in with your workplace. Visit retail sales outlets like Nordstrom Rack or go to secondhand stores and pick up clothing gems at a steal. Take a female friend or gay friend with you if needed. Lastly, please take care of hygene issues. Brush your teeth, wash your hair, trim unsightly body hair, trim nails, etc. Regarding appearance, the bigger the slob of a guy, the more well groomed and dressed he should be. Pretty boys like Brad Pitt can get away with the scruffy look and still be hot to girls. Slovenly dudes going for the scruffy look just appear as douchebags who don't care about their appearance. Subcomms are everything; if you don't care about yourself, a girl will know you don't care about much more in life.

3. Learn to be positive, fun, confident, have a sense of humor, live an interesting life, and be able to talk about it.
Fun, positive, confident people with a great sense of humor are really attractive to women. If you live an interesting life AND can talk about it, women will be all over you. If you only sat on the couch, ate frozzen pizzas, and played video games all day I can see why you'd need to rely on routines. A positive person living an awesome life wouldn't have that trouble, so work on this. Pick up new hobbies, be outgoing, and challenge yourself personally. Be passionate about whatever it is that you love, and be able to talk about why you're passionate. More on that later..

4. Basic social skills.
Having basic social skills is unfortunately often overlooked. You can run the tightest game possible but if you lack basic social skills it's going to cause problems time and time again. Social skills are different from social conventions. Like the Matrix, some may be bent, and others broken.

5. Daily Newbie Mission
My version of the Newbie Mission is not finite, and does not end at 1,000 approaches. Daily, you should approach and open at least 10 people. If you want to challenge yourself without putting your work/school/responsibilities at risk, you may approach more daily. Here's the important part: At least half of those you open would be attractive women you'd consider dating. The rest can be anyone: A business man waiting for an elevator, a woman walking her dog, the bouncer at the club, etc. Getting used to opening any time, any place leaves you "on" all the time and you won't need "warm up sets". It also subcommunicates you're a social guy who can make friends with anyone, which is important not to appear like a wolf on the prowl.

-Milkman.